We each have our own individual strengths – skills and feats that we have put in massive effort to develop and expertly calibrate.
For example, some people are fluent in multiple languages, some are mathematics whizzes, some are master seducers, master musicians, master craftsmen, etc.
These are skills that no one was born with, but instead have been achieved by:
Uncovering your passion and having worked tooth and nail to become an expert
Or having been forced into situations where you had to develop these skills as a way to survive or adapt, like a new job or moving to a new country for instance
However, in addition to these individual strengths, there are 3 CORE STRENGTHS that every man should develop in himself to become the strongest, most powerful, and centered man he is capable of.
Though the path to developing these strengths is not always straight forward or clearly defined for any particular one of us, that just means each man is responsible for obtaining these strengths on his own: through his own individual path and his own individual experiences.
There is no real concrete template or cookie cutter that works for all of us. It is your unique journey through life that helps define these strengths in you.
And these core strengths are:
Physical Strength
Social Strength
Emotional Strength
For example, some people are fluent in multiple languages, some are mathematics whizzes, some are master seducers, master musicians, master craftsmen, etc.
These are skills that no one was born with, but instead have been achieved by:
Uncovering your passion and having worked tooth and nail to become an expert
Or having been forced into situations where you had to develop these skills as a way to survive or adapt, like a new job or moving to a new country for instance
However, in addition to these individual strengths, there are 3 CORE STRENGTHS that every man should develop in himself to become the strongest, most powerful, and centered man he is capable of.
Though the path to developing these strengths is not always straight forward or clearly defined for any particular one of us, that just means each man is responsible for obtaining these strengths on his own: through his own individual path and his own individual experiences.
There is no real concrete template or cookie cutter that works for all of us. It is your unique journey through life that helps define these strengths in you.
And these core strengths are:
Physical Strength
Social Strength
Emotional Strength
Strength #1: Physical Strength
From a biological perspective, men are physically the stronger sex. Naturally it is what we are bred for. Men are warriors. Men are soldiers. Men build. Men destroy. Men fight. And men protect.
When you work out, build muscle, become stronger, and develop a more powerful, assertive stature, it adds to your confidence, masculinity, dominance, and further defines who you are as a man. It sets you apart from the weak. People notice your power. They can tell you work hard and that you take yourself seriously. They know you don’t bullshit.
Through your physical stature alone, people implicitly look to you for guidance, direction, motivation, and leadership; they acknowledge you as a dominant social figure (whether they want to or not) and they are in awe of the physical strength you hold.
Not to mention women LOVE men who are in shape, toned, and have muscles that are aching to be caressed and licked! Physical strength in a man reassures women on many levels. It shows them you are a man of resilience and provides them with feelings of protection and being physically safe around you. It also shows them that you could absolutely man handle them in the bedroom anyway you want, which gets their panties ridiculously soaked!
So do some research on the internet, read Malcolm’s book, get a gym membership, and get in shape. When you take care of yourself, then your strong, powerful body will take care of you.
Strength #2: Social Strength
Let’s face it, when it comes to the social elite, women typically own this category compared to men. Women are inherently the much more socially intelligent sex and they use their social muscles just as we men use our physical muscles – to fight, build, destroy, love, and protect.
We are all aware of that noise called approach anxiety, but have you ever noticed that when you go up to a girl she just seems like she is in her element?
Well usually they are, even though they are FAR MORE nervous deep down than you are. They’re just social masters so they can hide it much better than you or I can. But give a girl a 50 lb dumbbell and ask her to curl it, and she’ll give you a look like “Are you serious?”
The social context is just not our comfort zone as men because it carries with it a sense of fear around social shunning, a sense of shame, or embarrassment. Even though we know it isn’t a big deal just to talk to someone; it’s not life or death and there are no consequences, but the thought of it still often paralyzes us.
A few examples of social strength include:
* Being extremely warm, engaging, and sociable with anyone
* Being able to make strong, unyielding eye contact
*Being able to smile while out in public just because you are happy to be the authentic person you are and happy to be alive!
*Having positive contagious emotions that others pick up on which in turn lifts their spirits
Like physical strength, social strength requires working out and daily use, i.e. constant training and conditioning in order to develop it into it’s fullest capacity.
Disclaimer: I don’t care who you are or how “special” you are, deep down inside, everyone DESPERATELY wants to be noticed. Everyone DESPERATELY wants to have their existence acknowledged and, most importantly, everyone DESPERATELY wants to feel IMPORTANT…even if it is just for a few seconds.
So when working out your social muscles, remember that even though you are nervous, people will be SO GRATEFUL for you coming up just to say “Hi” and to see how their day is going. You will make THEIR day just by acknowledging them, making them feel important, and giving them the social spotlight through your personal attention.
So if you are freaked out about being socially awkward or scared about embarrassing yourself, don’t be…because people go through their boring days without anyone ever acknowledging them or giving them any special attention, so when you actually do acknowledge them, you will positively be remembered for it!
Now here are some suggestions on how to work out your social muscles:
1. During your daily errands, make small talk with someone. This is where becoming authentic really starts to shine!
For example:
*Ask how their day is going.
*Ask how their weekend was.
* If they have a lot of interesting foods, comment on a few grocery items and joke with them about hiring them as a personal chef.
* If they are wearing something cool, different, colorful, or interesting then comment on it and ask where they got it. There’s a life story behind even the littlest of things, you just have to become curious and ask!
* It really doesn’t matter what you say though, just be warm and friendly when you address people. The rest is just relaxing and seeing where it goes. And don’t forget to smile!
2. Make eye contact with people. And smile!
Making eye contact is very personal and shows you are not afraid, that you are confident and resilient, and that you are really warm and friendly. People are constantly looking down or looking away throughout their days. When they do “accidentally” meet eyes with someone, they tend to quickly avert their eyes as a reaction to fear or embarrassment.
By giving your eye contact to someone, you are telling them that “Yes I see you and you have MY attention!” Just like smiling, it costs nothing, is easy to do, it doesn’t hurt, but it positively uplifts people when they receive it. So make eye contact with someone and smile! You’ll notice the anxiety you think is there is really just all in your head and there’s nothing to be scared of.
3. Give someone a genuine compliment. And smile!
Give a random person a high five. Yes…a high five. No one ever gives anyone a high five, yet the high five is such a fast and simple gesture but carries with it TONS of uplifting emotions. And smile!
4. Crack dumb jokes about anything. And smile!
If you’re in line at a coffee shop, ask the girl behind you if she’ll pay for your moca choca latte..or whatever you kids drink.
Something to keep in mind though is that YOU HAVE TO WARM UP. Your first interaction or two might not be too great, but shake it off because that is part of it. Even the best seducers know that the first few approaches are a bit clumsy, but they power through and eventually they start to get into a solid flow of great interactions. The same goes with socializing and developing social momentum. The first few are you just clearing your throat for the awesomeness that awaits below!
So get out there and take massive action. Be the first to speak, make the first gesture, be the first to make eye contact; take control, lead, and initiate everything. You will be super proud of yourself by doing so and you will improve so many peoples’ days at the same time!
Strength #3: Emotional Strength
Have you ever encountered a man that is so emotionally unstable that the littlest things set him off?
*Maybe you call his mom a whore and he freaks out and gets in your face.
*Maybe your favorite football team loses but instead of realizing that it doesn’t matter and that it has no impact on you or your life, you decide to shut down, get angry, and become generally a crappy person to be around for the next 2-3 days.
* Maybe a coworker makes a snarky comment about something you’re wearing just to get a reaction out of you, so you give them a dirty look and tell them to fuck off (just the reaction they wanted. Next stop HR!).
*Maybe your girlfriend is having an emotional off day, stress at her job, or something has shaken her emotional side up? So in her way to overcome it she leans on you for emotional support, but to you it feels like she’s angry with you, attacking you, or testing your masculinity when she just wants you to listen and relate with what she’s going through. Then the next thing you know, it blows up into an argument or even a break up.
*Maybe you try to take that cute girl from the bar home after a while of flirting, touching, and teasing but guess what? She had no intentions of going home with anyone tonight, she just wanted to get some attention, some free drinks, to have fun, and to be a tease. So what do you do? Instead of learning from any mistakes or lessons, growing, and moving on – you become whiny, bitter, and beg her for sex or just lash out at her for leading you on in front of everyone at the bar.
*Maybe there is a cute girl who you are completely enamored with, but she is just being an attention whore and is stringing you along. Maybe you are chasing her. You really want her attention and for some reason you like giving her yours FOR FREE, but in reality it is never going to go anywhere and she’s probably banging other guys while you are patiently orbiting and waiting for your turn.
Now despite the fact that there are TONS of girls who would KILL to have YOUR ATTENTION and who would KILL to be in YOUR BED, you continue to chase this ONE girl because she is a “fun challenge”…or whatever your excuse is…instead of replacing her. You just let it keep on happening beating you down emotionally by eating away at your self-respect and self-esteem until it is too late.
These are just a few examples of not having much of the final core strength, and that is emotional strength.
Emotional strength is so rare and powerful that only the most dominant, resilient, and strongest men have it. Most men have emotional weakness but it comes in different varieties and different levels.
You’ll know you see emotional weakness when you have to tell a guy to stop complaining or whining, to stop being a bitch, to nut up, to quit being weak, or when a man is ruminating about something and he floods you with his insecurities without trying to come up with any solutions.
What does emotional strength look like?
*Emotional strength is a man keeping his cool in an intense situation.
* Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t emotionally lash out at others when things don’t go his way.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t break while his girl is emotionally crashing up against him.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t falter when his girl is testing him by flirting with other men at a bar.
*Emotional strength is a man who lets his girl know that her behavior isn’t tolerated and that she better straighten up, otherwise, he DUMPS HER ASS and takes home another girl like a boss.
*Emotional strength is a man who sticks to his guns and doesn’t allow his opinions to be swayed by pressure.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t tolerate second class or weak behavior.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t allow worthless, empty criticisms to throw him off his center.
*Emotional strength is a man with backbone.
*Emotional strength is a man who can let his guard down with a woman, become vulnerable with a woman, and love a woman wholeheartedly.
*Emotional strength is a man who knows he has flaws and accepts them because no man is perfect.
*Emotional strength is a man who is authentic and doesn’t care what others think of him or his choices.
*Emotional strength is tough to develop because it requires a lot of life experience; meaning being beat down, kicked around, then picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and growing. It requires you to feel strong, negative emotions coming on, acknowledge that you’re feeling that way, and remain cool and controlled as they pass.
Don’t get me wrong, everyone gets frustrated, upset, sad, or angry, but becoming an emotional tidal wave over every little thing is NOT how an emotionally strong man handles the situation. He deals with it, he takes action, and he finds a solution or work around and does not blame others for his problems or mistakes.
Even in the most painful situations in life, try to keep yourself together, shake it off, and remember that you will learn, grow, and become better for it. Do the best you can to not think about it, because each second you spend punishing yourself about it is a second you will never get back.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t break while his girl is emotionally crashing up against him.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t falter when his girl is testing him by flirting with other men at a bar.
*Emotional strength is a man who lets his girl know that her behavior isn’t tolerated and that she better straighten up, otherwise, he DUMPS HER ASS and takes home another girl like a boss.
*Emotional strength is a man who sticks to his guns and doesn’t allow his opinions to be swayed by pressure.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t tolerate second class or weak behavior.
*Emotional strength is a man who doesn’t allow worthless, empty criticisms to throw him off his center.
*Emotional strength is a man with backbone.
*Emotional strength is a man who can let his guard down with a woman, become vulnerable with a woman, and love a woman wholeheartedly.
*Emotional strength is a man who knows he has flaws and accepts them because no man is perfect.
*Emotional strength is a man who is authentic and doesn’t care what others think of him or his choices.
*Emotional strength is tough to develop because it requires a lot of life experience; meaning being beat down, kicked around, then picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and growing. It requires you to feel strong, negative emotions coming on, acknowledge that you’re feeling that way, and remain cool and controlled as they pass.
Don’t get me wrong, everyone gets frustrated, upset, sad, or angry, but becoming an emotional tidal wave over every little thing is NOT how an emotionally strong man handles the situation. He deals with it, he takes action, and he finds a solution or work around and does not blame others for his problems or mistakes.
Even in the most painful situations in life, try to keep yourself together, shake it off, and remember that you will learn, grow, and become better for it. Do the best you can to not think about it, because each second you spend punishing yourself about it is a second you will never get back.
So pick yourself up, shake it off, and move forward.
Just like the other 2 strengths, emotional strength requires working out and lots of conditioning (often times painful). Now as unfortunate as this sounds, it is truly inevitable because it is part of what gives life its joys and pains, what gives life such an infinite amount of flavor!
So you have to face it no matter what. Each little event, disastrous situation, or soul shattering experience is a challenge and the more you are exposed to and overcome challenges, the more emotional strength you will develop.
Plus you’ll just get better at dealing with things the more you are exposed to them, so emotional strength comes with time and isn’t really something you can develop quickly.
So don’t stress about failing or showing emotional weakness, just acknowledge how you could have handled that situation better for the next time and move on, no questions asked.
Wrap Up
Alright gentlemen, there you have my top 3 core strengths every man should develop. Again, I want to reiterate that each man develops these in due time on his own accord.
There is absolutely no comparison – whether it is to physical body type, how popular you were in high school or how much sex you’ve had, or how much painful shit you’ve had to deal with in your life thus far, every man is at his own level of each of these strengths and every man progresses at his own speed.
But that doesn’t mean these strengths will just come along without any hard work or effort. You have to make things happen for yourself, take action, and push yourself. You have to participate in life, experience the world every single day, and continue to grow. By doing so, these strengths will be tested, strained, broken down, and rebuilt making them become 10 times stronger.
The next steps that you can take are realizing where you are at with each strength and doing what you can to improve upon them, like going to the gym, making tons of approaches, connecting with lots of awesome people, becoming super vulnerable and taking tons of chances, reaching higher for yourself than ever before every day, and failing over and over.
When you rip and tear at your comfort zone, you develop strength in so many ways that what you thought once were failures were actually POWERFUL successes in disguise.
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