How to Get More Blowjobs

It’s a common complaint among men that they don’t get enough blowjobs.  There are a lot of reasons this could happen; maybe your partner isn’t into giving them, or maybe you’ve just had bad luck with a lot of partners—or maybe you’re just not good at receiving them.  It might sound strange to say that there’s an art to receiving oral sex, but in some ways that’s true.  Blowjobs are very appealing to a large number of women, but they’re also rather tedious for another fair number.  That doesn’t mean there isn’t a middle ground either; many women don’t find them that exciting to give, but don’t mind either if it makes you happy.  Assuming you have a partner who isn’t utterly opposed to giving blowjobs but also isn’t just leaping to give them, how can you get her to do it more often?

• It might sound weird, but try just asking.  A lot of us are conditioned not to talk about sex all that much, even if we have a lot of it!  Why leave your partner guessing what you want?  Maybe she doesn’t even realize how much you enjoy blowjobs.  She might just think it’s something you like now and again, not something you really want all the time.  Sometimes just knowing something makes all the difference in the world.

• Offer something back.  If your partner isn’t opposed to giving you a blowjob but it’s not her favorite thing, why not give back by going down on her afterward?  Or maybe you could do something else she likes.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be cunnilingus, especially since not all women enjoy being on the receiving end of oral sex either.  Figure out what she likes and pay back the favor.

• Change what you do when you’re actually receiving.  The most natural thing to do while you’re getting a blowjob is probably to press your partner’s head against you, but this annoys a lot of women since it makes them feel powerless and pressured to perform, so maybe you should figure out if it annoys your partner.  If it does, you should stop doing that.  It doesn’t mean you can’t put your hand on her head or shoulders or neck (unless she’s completely opposed to that in any way).  But you might consider stroking her hair or something instead of pushing her face against you.

• On a related note, find out whether she actually enjoys swallowing or not.  Some women do, others don’t.  If she doesn’t, she’ll be a lot more willing to give you a blowjob if she knows that you’re not planning on cumming in her mouth.  Simple adjustments like these can change oral sex into a palatable prospect for some partners who might not enjoy it otherwise.

All of this is assuming that the partner you’re with doesn’t utterly hate giving blowjobs.  Unfortunately for a lot of women this seems to be an area where they feel obligated to perform, which means it can sometimes be difficult to figure out whether your partner actually likes giving blowjobs or not.  If she doesn’t, there isn’t necessarily much you can do about it, though it depends on why she doesn’t like it and if there are any adjustments you can make to make things better.  For some people though, oral sex just isn’t appealing and never will be.

How can you find out?  There’s unfortunately no way to know for sure if you get a noncommittal answer because of the cultural expectations which pressure many women toward dishonesty on this topic.  You can however always try asking her to tell you honestly whether she likes it or not, and if she isn’t sure, what might make it more enjoyable for her.  It may sound weird to say that someone may not be sure whether they enjoy doing something or not, but oral sex isn’t very intuitive, so it’s not always a clear topic for everyone.

That’s another thing a lot of people don’t realize; giving oral sex is no easier for your partner than it is for you.  Okay, maybe you’ve got that down with this particular partner, but the majority of men aren’t entirely sure how to give great cunnilingus (especially with a new partner), so why would you think that performing on you is the most natural thing in the world for your partner?  Sometimes it’s a question of having the patience for your partner to figure out how to get you off while being physically and psychologically comfortable herself.

At that rate, that might be yet another reason that you have a difficult time getting blowjobs.  Oral sex isn’t very intuitive for men or women in many cases because neither men nor women entirely understand the genitals of the opposite sex.  Think about it; how can your partner possibly know what you find pleasurable?  She doesn’t have the same organs you do.  Not only that, but even among men there can be huge differences in stimulation and arousal, and her last partner might have been completely different than you.

This can also build up performance anxiety, since it’s pretty tough to give oral sex thinking you’re somehow supposed to miraculously know what you’re doing.  This scenario should be familiar to a lot of guys.  How do you get around this?  The same way you’d hope that your partner would make life easier for you when you go down on her and aren’t sure what to do.  Try not to put pressure on your partner.  You could try oral sex while you’re already aroused, instead of using it as foreplay to reach a state of arousal.  You also can give your partner positive feedback or suggestions while she’s performing so she can learn her way around your body and understand what gets you off.