Anal Rimming

Anal rimming, also called anilingus (sometimes spelled “analingus”) is an idea which can draw up a wide range of emotions and reactions.  For some, the idea is titillating, while for others, it may be off-putting.  If you’re interested in rimming, it’s important to learn a few things about safety and cleanliness before you get started.  You also may want some tips on how to bring anal rimming up with your partner if you’ve never talked about it before.  It can be difficult enough asking a partner to try anything new during sex, much less something which has a bit of a taboo surrounding it, as anal rimming does.

Staying Safe While Rimming


One of the reasons there’s a taboo around anal rimming is that many people worry that it’s inherently unclean or unsafe.  If you were to start rimming a partner without that partner washing up first, it would indeed be unsafe.  And as with any sexual practice, the risks are higher if you don’t know your partner well or practice fidelity.  During unprotected rimming, a partner can pass on an STD or a digestive ailment.  If you know your partner has an STD, you should abstain from any unprotected sex, including rimming.  If your partner has any active digestive infection, you should hold off until the infection is dead.

How do you get ready for rimming?  The receiving partner should thoroughly wash the anal region using antibacterial soap and water to kill any germs which may be lurking there.  If there is going to be penetrating, or if you just want to be extra careful, an enema is another good step to take.  Before you decide to use an enema, do read up on enema safety tips if you’ve never used one before, since doing an enema incorrectly can lead to serious problems.  Used correctly, it will help to clean out and disinfect the colon.
Taking these steps to properly clean the area should greatly reduce (not completely eliminate the chances of infection).  If the anus is clean, licking the anus isn’t any more dangerous than licking any other clean body part.  Even so, after rimming, the performing partner should take the added step of rinsing with mouthwash afterward, especially if additional sex acts are going to be performed (that way you don’t transfer any bacteria to other parts of the body like the urethra).  In general, the chances of infection are estimated to be quite low between partners who practice fidelity and observe all the safety precautions.

Social and Personal Taboos Surrounding Rimming


Until fairly recently in history, oral sex was considered to be taboo altogether; it was even illegal in some states.  There are still many people who are uncomfortable with the idea of oral sex because they consider it to be unclean or degrading.  This same attitude, while less common now about cunnilingus or fellatio, extends to anilingus, but it’s even more common since the anus is the body part we use to defecate.  Some people are bothered by the idea of anilingus because of safety concerns, but others are bothered by it simply because to them, the anus is a body part they consider dirty and shameful.

There are a couple of other common reasons that some people draw a line when it comes to rimming.  One reason is the socially constructed misunderstanding that rimming is a homosexual activity.  While plenty of homosexual people engage in rimming, plenty of heterosexual people do as well, and there is nothing about rimming which in any way points toward a person’s sexual orientation.  If you’re a heterosexual person, you shouldn’t feel insecure about your sexual orientation because you’re interested in rimming.  Likewise, your partner may associate rimming with homosexuality and feel uncomfortable about it for this reason, but this points toward a lack of knowledge and nothing more, something which can be remedied by sharing articles like these.

There are a couple of other possible reasons that your partner might not be thrilled about rimming, and these are more personal reasons and not associated with social expectations.  Your partner may have had bad experiences in the past involving anal sex or anal play.  The anus is a sensitive region, and while this means that stimulating the anus can be very erotic, rough play can cause pain or injury.  If you or your partner have had negative experiences in the past with other partners, take it slow—and acknowledge that this may be a hard limit with your partner, in which case pressing the matter will only cause problems.  The other reason your partner may not want to engage in anal play is that there may be physiological reasons; if for example your partner suffers from IBS or some other colon ailment, he or she may not really find the idea of any contact down there exciting.
Rimming Techniques

When rimming, you can lick the perimeter of the anus, penetrate the anus with your tongue, and also lick and explore the inner thighs and buttocks with your mouth.  You can keep your hands involved too, whether by using your fingers to penetrate the anus, or by stimulating other parts of your partner’s body.  You may even combine rimming with cunnilingus or fellatio, or try fingering your partner while you’re performing anilingus.  There’s no one “right” or “best” way to do rimming, just like there’s no single best technique for any other type of oral sex.  It’s a matter of discovering your partner’s preferences and learning about your partner’s body.  Asking for suggestions is a great way to get your partner to share with you for a more pleasurable experience.

When you bring up rimming to your partner for the first time, be ready to explain why you want to try it.  Much of the value of sex stems from acceptance and intimacy, not just physical sensation.  Explain to your partner how rimming will bring intimacy into your relationship, and you’ll have an easier time getting her to go for it.

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