5 Things About Young Wives SEX

1. Communication is what makes sex great.

Authentic, vulnerable communication where you seek to understand each other is the difference maker.
Don't try to read your husband's mind and don't expect him to read yours.  Talk about sex.  Talk about what feels good and what doesn't. Learn each other's bodies.
If you want to become more comfortable having sex and talking about it, do both of those things. Often.

2. Your orgasm matters.

If you and your husband do not take to heart the importance of you experiencing sexual pleasure, you will soon find sex to be a chore. You will resentfully endure it at best and outright avoid it at worst.
Sexual pleasure is not just for your husband; it's for you too.
God's design of your clitoris is part of His vision for profound intimacy between you and the love of your life.

3. Real sex doesn't look like a romantic movie.

Real sex is often messy (I mean, literally messy).
Real sex is often awkward, especially until you get the hang of things.
You may think right now that you want sex to look like it does in your favorite movie, but truth be told, you don't.
Just like you thought what you most wanted was the perfect wedding… when deep down what you really want is a strong and loving marriage.
Don't let Hollywood fool you. Real sex is better than fabricated sex.

4. Not all sexual encounters are created equal.

Don't let any one sexual encounter be your gauge of how things are going in your marriage.
Sometimes sex is "off-the-charts-leaving-me-speechless" amazing.  If you are paying attention to points 1 and 2 above, you will have orgasms and soul-drenching connection that will be unlike anything you could have even imagined.
Other times, though, sex feels routine.
When you occasionally have sex that feels routine, don't slip into paranoia and start thinking things like "we've lost the magic" or "he must not be attracted to me" or "the best is behind us."  That is destructive thinking that will lead to division and heartache.  A better approach is to see point 1.

5.  Authentic sexual intimacy will make your marriage better.

This is so hard to see right now, but you're going to have to take my word on it.  If you are like most married couples, you will soon discover that along the way, life gets complicated.
There will be details.

Like mortgage payments.  And babies.  And car seats.  And, "What are we doing for Christmas?"  And, "You want to take a job where?!"  And dog puke.  And minor fender benders. And overtime at work. And, "We're out of milk. Again."  And, "There is 2 inches of water on our basement floor."
Oh, there will be delight and joy and tender memories too.
But it's the hard stuff and daily grind of doing life that take the greatest toll on a marriage.
Sex helps you navigate all that crap, because it equips you to remember you're in it together. You will be better able to extend grace. To take a breath.  To embrace a long-term perspective on short-term roadblocks.

You will see your husband more as your ally than your adversary.

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