How to Be REALLY Good in Bed

 Women Love and Want Sex

As Malcolm said before, all women are sluts and crave for sex. I believe they love sex as much as (and maybe more than) we men do. Notice how women moan and scream when the sex is good. Watch how they twist their bodies and start not making sense when they are about to come and if you get them to have a multiple orgasm.

They want sex. They want you to lead the interaction toward sex. Women love talking about sex. I have many female friends, straight, lesbian and bisexual. They are all different and have their own preferences and tastes.
But one thing overlaps: their desire for sex and how much they love talking about it. If you’re cool about the topic and women feel comfortable around you, they will share with you their stories and fantasies, things they like, you name it.
The girls you have sex with, for instance, if you’re good enough in bed, if you make the difference, they will share stories about other guys who sucked in bed, fantasies they have, and what they liked most about what you just did to her, without you even asking them.
Bear in mind at all times that women love and want sex. It makes them happy, it’s good for their skin, hair and mood, provided we do a good job and keep them wanting more and more.

 Touching Like a Pro

Escalating touch is an art. Women are so sensitive to touch that some guys out there actually say that you should touch women like they were a giant clitoris! Take a minute or two to read about women’s erogenous zones. It will blow your mind!

There are moments to be gentle and moments to be rough. It all depends on what is going on. If you’re having a more romantic time or starting out slow, you should touch gently and then you escalate. There are times where things start out wild, then let the roughness take over!

Regardless, learn to learn about the woman you’re with. Experiment different places to touch, vary the intensity and watch how she responds. I like to touch their arms, back of the neck, legs and back so barely that it is as if they are just feeling the heat coming out of my fingers and hands, slightly touching their skin just enough to make them bite their lips and start dripping wet.

If you guys don’t know how to massage, learn it! It’s gold and virtually every woman loves it! Plus, you can change the intensity of touching all the time, you will make them a lot more relaxed and it will make them see you as different, as a guys who gets them and knows how to touch them. Of course, don’t do it every single time with the same girl…or it will get old and predictable. Instead, give them a sample of your powers and wait until they ask you or surprise them after some time.

Dare! Women like different things and you can discover by daring. Don’t ask for permission, just do it. If she doesn’t like it, it’s her job to let you know. Also, it’s ok to ask where they like to be touched the most, provided you don’t do it like a wimp.  

 Talking Dirty and Building Anticipation

Never be afraid to talk dirty to a girl! They love it! No matter what they say, it turns them on so much so that it drives them wild in bed.

Say things like: “show me how you suck my cock”,”I love to suck your pussy”, “grab that cock now”, you name it.

I myself have said so many things to many different girls just to find yet another overlap: they love it. The only difference is that for some of these women it was something new that their nice guy boyfriends never dared to say and it took them a few minutes to adjust. For the others, I always got a kinky smile, or some lip biting as they obeyed my commands.

Talk dirty to them and let them know it is ok for them to do so. Women love saying “bad words” and to be free in bed, as long as the men they’re with creates this intimacy right off the bat.

If that sounds way hard core for you than I suggest you change your views on the matter, because that’s one of the topics women often talk about when they get together and sometimes they will give you feedback on how they love it when you say those things in bed. 

Smelling a Girl – Your Primitive Instincts in Action

Women love when you go wild because of them! It makes them feel desired and attractive, makes them feel hot and sensual.

One of the things that I learned while searching for materials about sex and turning women on is the power of smelling a woman. Man…it is powerful, I tell you that!

I’m talking here about really smelling and sniffing a girl. One of your most primitive skills put into action and separating you from the herd!

Try this: when you’re making out, kissing her neck, take a moment to sniff their necks deeply. As you finish it, say something like “I love your smell” as you get ready for another sniff. Try her hair too and tell her hair smells great. She’ll feel things she never felt before because and she’ll melt! Probably you’ll be the first to be doing that to her.

Another variation: sniff her neck (and mean it!), as you finish it, hold her face, look her in the eyes and say you love her smell. If she doesn’t kiss you it’s because she’s in trance, so you go and kiss her. At this point she will probably be soaking wet and then you can proceed to escalating touch. Remember what I said in my last article about “Two steps forward, one step back”.

When you get to her pussy, don’t just go diving there! Hold your horses and take a moment to admire her beautiful lingerie and smell her there as well! Let her know and see that you appreciate being down there, that this not just a chore to you.

Smell her pussy and smile slyly and lick her pussy over her panties. 

Remember to be a multi task man: caress her tits as you kiss her pussy, press her thighs as you circle her pussy area with your tongue. As you remove her underwear, lick around her pussy for a while, sniff it, pass your tongue slightly, expose her clit, and open her pussy. She will be bagging for you to start sucking it, that if she doesn’t beg you to fuck her right away. Don’t fuck her now, of course. Not until she has gotten a taste of your licking skills.
Start licking slowly, from top to bottom, in the area between her pussy and anus, her anus (most women love it and go crazy when you do it), expose her clit and start licking it. Forget about some bullshit about “drawing the alphabet with your tongue”. Change the pace and intensity and watch her reactions, if you realize she’s moving a lot, moaning a lot, and giving all the signs she’s loving it, than keep at it. Look at her eyes while you taste her and show her how much you love eating her pussy. Tell her: your pussy is delicious…I can’t stop eating it. Believe me, she’ll love it because she will see that you mean it and that you know what you’re doing.
 
A side note: Some women will cum while you suck, others need penetration, masturbation, etc. Don’t feel frustrated if you don’t get her to come while you’re eating her. Eating her well, however, makes it a lot easier for her to come later, because women need to be completely relaxed and feeling a lot of pleasure to have an orgasm.

 Being Unpredictable

Being predictable in bed is a huge turn off for women. If she already knows you will just repeat every single thing you did the other times, she will be less likely to want to have sex with you.

Some guys actually have this 6 step formula: make out, suck her tits, eat her pussy, have her suck me, proceed to penetration, come.
Don’t be that guy! Be creative and start things differently. Move from one step to another differently. If you usually start eating her, have her suck you before. Stand up on the bed and have her suck you. Tell her to bend over while you suck eat her pussy from behind. Sit behind her and have her sit in front of you, with her back to you. This way you have full access to her tits, you can finger her all the while sniffing her neck, kissing her back and doing all sorts of multi-tasking which women love and crave for.

  Rough Sex

Many a time, I had my female friends and women I’ve had sex with talk about guys who were to gentle with them in bed. All of them talked about it with frustration and said these guys were too nice and boring.

Women love rough sex, they love to be taken by a dominant man. They love to be ravaged! You read that right my friend!

As I stated earlier in this article, sometimes sex just start out rough. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t make it rough later. Actually, I suggest you make it rough, especially if you want to give women orgasms and sensations they’ve never had before. 

 Some of them actually said these exact words: “when a man is rough in bed and slap me it makes me fall in love with him.”

Spank her ass, pull her hair, call her names (slut, bitch, kinky, naughty, hot), don’t be afraid! It’s your job to try and hers to let you know if she doesn’t like it. Just be dominant and confident about doing it, don’t ask her permission!

If you read my last article, I mention a 21 year old girl. She had told me that no men would ever slap her in the face. Call me “no men” then! I slapped her in the face when she was moaning and going wild from the sex.

Her reaction: she bit her lips, smiled and returned the slap!

My point is: dare to no end! You have a lot more to win than to lose, plus the risk is minimum if you compare it to the benefits of driving your woman crazy and wanting you more and more.  

 

How to Touch Women

 There are a certain set of tips and rules that you must follow and adhere to, if you are going to be successful at touching women in a way that turns them on and is attractive.

The men who fail to adhere to the following list of rules are the men who girls usually end up calling “creepy” and “weird”.

Follow these simple tips, and instead of girls calling you “creepy”, they will be busy calling you a “sexy stud” who is able to get laid.

You Must Break the Touch Barrier

Shake her hand, and then examine it. It's SO powerful when you walk up to a girl, make strong eye contact, shake her hand, and then hold onto it for five seconds.

You want to give the girl the impression that she just met one sexy man. A lot of guys are simply afraid of touching girls.

Even after first shaking their hand . . . they're lost about what to do.

You Must Close the distance

It doesn't matter if you're sitting or standing, you want to be close to a girl.

You can "accidently" touch a girl. Your legs can bump into each other while sitting. Your hands might touch if you're walking together.

The reason why girls react weird to when some guys touch them is because the guy makes the touch “awkward” or “creepy”.

He either touches too little or… when he does touch, he's looking at his hand while touching her. It just seems completely unnatural.

If a guy touches too much, he is constantly grabbing a girl and trying to do it creepily. He's trying to touch her in a sexual way without framing the interaction as sexy . . .

Focus on the High Points

Touch a girl during high points of a conversation.

Touch her with your fingers and the palm of your hand, don't use the back of your hand. This will come off as cold and distant.

Girls love feeling the connection between herself and the guy she likes. That's why you need to seal connection and smooth that sexual tension with your touch. 

Don't be afraid even when you're walking with a girl in the club to grab her hand so you don't get separated. You can also, touch her back while walking across the street. She'll see this as a protective touch, you want a girl to feel safe with you.

Put Your Focus on Escalating Physically

You can escalate physically with a girl using romantic touch AND sexual touch!

These are some off the most POWERFUL tools that you can use to overcome Last Minute Resistance and escape ANY consideration for the “Friend Zone”.  

The ONLY drawback is you want to use these when you isolate the girl. Otherwise social pressure will kick in and she'll excuse herself to not seem “too easy”.

Romantic Touch: This includes holding hands, stroking her cheeks, kissing her, and playing with her hair. These can be used to prime a girl and get her ready for sex.

Sexual Touch: This includes playing with her breasts, stroking her thighs, grabbing her booty, fingering her pussy . . . basically anything that you would use for foreplay can go into this category. 

Make  Horny

The biggest thing about learning how to touch women, is realizing that it isn’t complicated.

The difference between a seducer and a flirt is their ability to touch women in a way that is attractive, turns them on, and gets them feeling horny.

When you become a master at touching women, “One Night Stands” become a very common thing, because you instantly become attractive to women, cause them to lust after you, and make them feel an immense amount of attraction for you.

Happy Touching,

Flirting Without Frightening

Intensity can be a good thing. It's good to be intense in the gym, at work, or during a competitive game with your friends. But sometimes a gentler touch is more appropriate. If you fear that you may come across as a bit heavy-handed or creepy when flirting with the ladies, or that your flirting may have even become borderline frightening, read on for some guidelines to moderate the expression of your affections.

Eye Contact
Maintaining eye contact is good and necessary to compliment any conversation. However, if you tend too much in one direction (e.g., too much eye contact or too little), then you might come across as frightening when you are trying to flirt. She shouldn't feel like she is in the middle of a staring show down or like she is on stage, her every move being accounted for, but she should also not feel like she is alone, talking to herself. Eye contact tells her 'I'm here with you,' and 'I'm listening to and understanding what you're saying.' Things that go well with eye contact: Blinking, nodding your head, smiling, laughing, etc. And remember, notably: Eye contact should be maintained with her eyes. 

Physical Contact
She's beautiful: her hair looks nice, her clothing fits her perfectly, and she smells great! You've got her in conversation now, and her cashmere sweater looks so inviting-it's like a kitty cat! She probably wouldn't mind, you consider, if you reached out and sampled her touch-worthy feline-like sweater with a quick caress. You could execute said caress, you further consider, with a nearly imperceptible grazing of her hip. But you hear a little voice, a little, tiny voice that seems to be screaming: "STOP!" Listen to this voice; it is the Voice of Reason, the one that is preventing you from committing a frightening flirting faux-paus. Namely, too much touching. Generally speaking, if you are simply engaged in flirting, do not take it to the fondling stage without her consent. Touching should be kept to a minimum and only if it is natural, not planned, and only if it is local to places outside of areas that her bathing suit-a full bathing suit, not a bikini-would cover.  

Email
So you like her, and you may even suspect that she likes you back. In fact, you have exchanged email addresses. In fact, you have taken it upon yourself to email her 4 times a day to clarify if your feelings are mutual. But the reality is that, in fact, you may be frightening her. If you have exchanged email addresses, make sure that the electronic flirting is mutual and not just one-sided, and then consider the following guidelines for future emailing activities: Only email her once a day (even if she emails you more than once, just control yourself); if you receive more than one email from her, then you have a reason to call her to follow up the email; finally, make sure that your email could not be misinterpreted if another tone were superimposed over the writing. That is, not everyone reads an email with your sarcasm, humor, point-of-view, what have you; so verify that your email is more or less tone-proof, and then, and only then, click 'send.'

 Txt-ing
With rampant cell phone use and text messaging capabilities, we now have new and exciting options for flirting vehicles. You can now reach her whenever you would like just to say hi, compliment her, or to say 'I miss you.' If, however, you are a compulsive texter, this habit might have to be tempered in order to modify your flirting style from over-the-top to just enough. As with emailing, consider that the tone that you intend in a text is not necessarily what she reads. Thus, 'What are you doing?' might not be read as 'Hey, I'm bored, what're you up to?'; instead, she might interpret your text as 'I can see what you're doing; I am outside of your apartment complex, watching you bathe.' Ensure that your texts are absolutely tone-proof before sending a message. And, again, as with email, limit yourself to texting only once in a while and only after she initiates some texting as well. If texting is one-sided, this habit might cross over from the comfort zone into borderline frightening.  

Phone calls
The most important rule of thumb regarding phone calls is that, unless someone is injured or in dire straits, never leave more than one message and never call more than once. If you are not familiar with the old adage 'A word to the wise is sufficient', familiarize yourself. If she wants to call you back, she will. Leaving 10 messages won't make her call you back any quicker; rather, this would have the opposite effect. Calling too often reeks of desperation, and nothing can make her run quicker than a guy with nothing better to do than fill her voice mailbox with nonsense. Again: No more than one message or phone call. Ever.  

Conversation
Generally speaking, if you can't picture the conversation that you are having in a black and white movie, save the subject for future use (when you know her a little better) or for the garbage (if the subject is just too much). Political or personal subjects should be avoided unless she broaches the subject. Similarly, overly sexual conversation is almost always off-putting, no matter how funny/clever/silly you think that you are being. Sometimes when she plays with her hair, this is a good thing, and it can mean that she's into you; however, sometimes hair-playing or other fidgeting is a sign that she's nervous and the conversation isn't a great one. Guidelines to live by: Follow her lead. If she brings up something touchy, it might be that she just wants you to listen to her opinion; again, follow her lead on this, too.

 Compliments
Her shirt looks amazing. It's just a plain white, v-neck t-shirt with a low neckline, but it looks perfect. So you tell her. Then, a little later, it occurs to you that the shirt looks just as perfect as it did only moments before. No, it looks better. You would like to share this with her, but, again, there's that little voice, urging you to 'STOP!' Please listen. Compliments should only be offered sparingly. One good, well-thought-out compliment is superior to 10 glib, spur-of-the-moment compliments. Thus, 'You look great with your hair up; it really emphasizes your high cheekbones' is far superior to 'You're hot! You're hot! You're hot!' etc. And, of course, (and especially early on), compliments should focus on areas of her body outside of the bathing suit region so that you don't frighten her off with your audacity/overt sexuality.


Dating
People can smell desperation from a mile away. And, actually, girls can smell desperation from 1,000 miles away. And, just as with texting, emailing, and phone calls, going overboard on dates, in particular a first date, can have the same fright-inspiring effect. Planning ahead is definitely a good thing-it shows thoughtfulness, consideration, foresight, care, etc. But if you have everything planned down to the last detail-having done research to determine her favorite color-and you are planning to spend a ton of money on your first date, you might want to back down just a tad. Keep things simple and traditional. The main thing that should be great on a date is the conversation and the company that she is keeping. Too much detail can be overwhelming, and if the date is too structured, it won't evolve naturally. Guideline for dating: First dates should be simple; second or third dates can be elaborate (if need be).
As with most other areas of one's life, when it comes to flirting, it is best managed with moderation. In most circumstances, in fact, the milder the touch, the better. If you have a message to communicate, it is always easiest to get the message across without any extremes, e.g., shouting or whispering. Just say something as mildly and as calmly as possible, in both actions and words-that is the best way to speak loudly and clearly when it comes to flirting.

Get Great Cardio Without Jogging

 Is jogging a part of your exercise routine? If so, you can pat yourself on the back because it's a great form of cardio. Now, jogging is all well and good, but it isn't the most exciting exercise in the world. In fact, for many people it can be downright boring. If you find it hard to stick to a jogging regimen, you might find it helpful to try a different form of cardio exercise. Here are a few ideas for your next workout.

1. Swimming
Swimming is a very effective form of cardio for several reasons. The first reason is that swimming involves your entire body. This makes swimming better than jogging because jogging focuses mainly on your legs instead of your entire body. Another reason why swimming is an effective form of cardio is because the water pressure from a pool makes your body work harder than if it were on land. Both your heart and lungs have to work harder because of this difference in pressure. 

2. Cross Country Skiing
While cross country skiing may not be as exciting as down hill skiing, it still is a great way to get cardio exercise during the winter months. Much like swimming, cross country skiing is a form of exercise that involves your entire body. While cross country skiing, your legs have to skate your skis while your arms push your poles. Another advantage of cross country skiing is that it is a low impact sport. The softness of snow plus the camber of your skis helps reduce the shock to your legs and joints. This can be a good reason to cross country ski if you are prone to getting jogging related injuries.

3. Cycling
Cycling is another great alternative to jogging and is the most thrilling exercise on this list. Whether you choose to ride the road or mountain, you'll be able to enjoy exhilarating speeds. If you choose to add cycling into your exercise routine, buy quality equipment from a bike store and maintain it properly to ensure its safe operation in the long run. If you spend your money wisely, you can end up saving a lot of money. You can do this by taking advantage of after season sales and doing basic maintenance and part replacement on your own.
Also, make sure to wear a helmet and safety gear when you go riding. According to the National Center of Injury Prevention and Control, over 500,000 people in the US have to be treated due to cycling related accidents. Wearing a helmet is one of the best ways you can reduce the chances of getting seriously injured in a cycling accident.

4. Rowing
Rowing is a great way to improve your strength and posture in addition to giving you a great cardio workout. Each rowing cycle requires a push and pull from your arms, legs, and core; in other words, rowing is a full body exercise. If you decide to incorporate rowing into your exercise routine, make sure your rowing form is spot on. If your form is even a little off you can end up straining your back, which is something you definitely want to avoid

5. Jumping Rope
While jumping rope isn't more exciting than jogging, it has many practical benefits. Jumping rope is simple, easy, and best of all, it's extremely convenient. Most people forget about jumping rope as soon as they graduate from elementary school, but it is a very viable form of cardio exercise for any age. But again, the convenience is the main benefit. You don't have to leave your house, buy any expensive equipment, or need a lot of space. You can get a great workout anywhere including your home or office, and if you're traveling, it's easy to do in a hotel room. 

Tell a Girl She's Horny

Sometimes the signs that tell a girl is horny are subtle, sometimes, they're overt. Either way, it's a good idea to know what they are and how to spot them. Knowing when a girl is horny can help put the odds in your favor when picking up girls for the first time, or taking it to the next level with girls you already know. Here are five signs that tell she's horny.

1. Eye Fucking
If a girl is looking at you in a lustful way, she's eye fucking you. When a girl eye fucks you, it tells that she is into you and wants you to talk to her. If she seems embarrassed when she sees that you noticed, she might be a little shy, but probably still interested in you. So the next time you get eye fucked by an attractive stranger, don't hesitate to flirt with her and see where things go. 

2. Physical Indicators
Two common physical indicators that tell a girl is horny is a slightly wet crotch and erect nipples, but these aren't always possible to identify without  coming off as creepy and getting slapped. So instead, keep an eye open for a quickened heart rate and breathing rate. Think of how male movie stars are referred to as heart throbs because they make the hearts of their female fans flutter. The good news is you don't have to be a movie star to get the same reaction from girls, so look out for

3. Touchy Feely
When a girl is aroused, she'll want to touch you. If she is more touchy feely with you, it's a good indicator that she's horny. Some specific areas she'll touch are your shoulders, chest, and arms. This is especially true if you're well built in these areas. Don't be too surprised if she reaches for your crotch or behind too. 

4. Kinkier Conversation
If she's talking more suggestively to you, she might be horny. We're not going to say she is definitively horny because some girls are just more sexual than others. If you are already good friends with her, it is easier to gauge whether or not her kinky conversation is something to act upon.
To make the conversation kinkier, she might mention past sexual experiences, make sexual double entendres, or tell you straight out she'd have sex with a guy like you. The important thing here is to make sure you are comfortable enough with being sexual yourself and can keep up with her. This can really get things moving.

5. Complimenting Your Looks/Physical Features
If she's giving you compliments, that's definitely a good sign. If her compliments have to do with your looks or physical features, that's an even better sign. She may comment on how big your hands, arms, or chest are. Or she'll compliment how you look in your pants, shirt, jacket, etc. Just be sure to be able to differentiate between polite compliments with horny compliments. The main difference between these types of compliments is how sexual they are. If she just tells you she likes your shirt, she's probably just giving you a polite compliment. But if she tells you she likes how your body fills out your shirt, she's giving you a hint. 

Bonus: Random Quirks
Every girl has her own quirks to tell she is horny. Some examples of this are when she plays with her hair, scratches the back or her neck, or licks her lips. These vary from girl to girl and can definitely be hard to spot in a stranger. If you can manage to figure them out, it'll help out a lot.

Secrets Of Happily Married Couples

1. They trust each other.-  "We don't judge each other. We trust each other. We don't have one of those wild tempestuous marriages. No one will ever write a book about us and there will never be a Lifetime movie based on our relationship. But I am in exactly the kind of relationship I have always wanted."

2. They take the good with the bad and become stronger for it-  "We are coming up on 19 years next week. I am still married because I totally respect him for how he has held my hand through the bad times. The good times were good, but the bad times were 10x worse. His friendship and commitment never wavered."

3. They respect each other.   "Married for 39 years. Why? I still get that funny warm feeling in my stomach when I hear his car drive into the driveway. He treats me with respect and he's a hell of a lot of fun on a road trip."

4. They're honest with each other.   "11 years together, two years married ... he provides me support when I need it and tells me when to 'suck it up, princess'. He deals with all of my family bullshit and brings me ice cream ... he gives the best hugs and is amazing in bed."

5. They find joy in the little things.   "He's the person I most want to hang out with whether it's going out eat, acting like an idiot at a concert, or just sitting together watching TV. And he feels the same way about me. It's great. No matter what life throws us (and it's thrown a lot so far!), we always know we will be there for each other."

6. They embrace each other's differences.   "I love being married. My wife and I are opposites. I am impulsive, she is detailed. I am aggressive she is reserved. Together we are like a fucking superhero, winning and conquering all!"

7. Sure, they argue, but they always fight fair.   "[My husband] never has unkind words for me, even when he's upset. It means the world to me that we can 'argue' and still say 'I love you.'"

8. They have fun, even when doing absolutely nothing at all.    "The most important thing starting out was that we loved being with each other. We made each other laugh. We could do something or nothing and have a great time because we were together. We just fit."

9. They cheer each other on.   "Married for 25 years. She is a force of nature, all 104 pounds of her. This woman does everything, sings like an angel, dances, cooks, mixes cement, lays tiles, does woodworking, quilts, builds mosaics, gardens, runs her own restaurant and bed and breakfast. She is so alive. She lights up the room every time she walks in with her joy."

10. They love each other -- flaws and all.   "[My wife] made a man out of a mess. She allowed me to make mistakes without hating me for it ... she loves me when no one else does ... she made me whole."

11. They feel lucky that they found each other.   "We've been together for 10, married for three. He is literally the best person I have ever known. I would do anything for him. We make each other ridiculously happy, it's kind of gross ... We play video games together, go climbing together, cook together, you name it. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am because this relationship is so damn easy."

12. They support each other.   "[My husband] is so supportive in everything I do. He lifts me up when I'm down, always encourages me when I feel discouraged and when I need to talk about my feelings, he's always there to listen. I mean it when I say I married my best friend."

13. They understand that "in sickness and in health" is more than a phrase -- it's a promise.   "We've been married nine years, together for 13. Eight years ago I became significantly disabled. We were a two income house and I took care of pretty much everything at home. And then I couldn't work anymore. I couldn't cook or clean. I couldn't do our grocery shop or pay our bills. I know he didn't think he could do it, but he does it all. He finished his PhD while still working and having to do all the housework and even down to having to bathe me when I couldn't ... He's a remarkable man and I adore him."

Young And Sexless Relationship

While on a trip to check out graduate programs, Alexis, 24, went out drinking and met S., 29, at a local bar.* Their physical chemistry was immediate and they slept together that night.

Six months later, Alexis relocated to the area for school and she and S. immediately started dating. For five months, they had sex every day. Then things slowly began to shift.

"I would go over to his place and instead of having sex, we would watch movies or play video games," said Alexis. "I remember being really confused ... and talking to him about it, because I was getting scared he wasn't interested in me anymore."

Alexis' previous relationship had ended after her then-boyfriend cheated on her, and Alexis worried that less frequent sex meant she and S. were headed for a similar fate.

But S. wasn't concerned. "He said, 'I don't know why you would think that. I really like it when we have sex, but I could have sex with anybody. I want to hang out with you,'" said Alexis.

The couple settled into a new rhythm, which Alexis described as "when it happens, it happens ... and eventually it just started happening less." At one point last year, Alexis realized she'd forgotten to refill her prescription for birth control pills, but it didn't matter. She and S. had not had sex in weeks.

"[We thought], 'Well, maybe it's a problem that we have, and we need to work on it.' But after talking about it more, it was like, 'Nope, it's not really a problem,'" she said. "We both still are really attracted to each other. It's just we're doing other things." Now, two and a half years into their relationship, they have sex no more than once a month.

Conventional thinking tells us that relationships between young people are supposed to be hot and heavy. Millennials, in particular, are a generation raised on internet porn and Cosmopolitan erotica. They want more sex, hotter sex, now.

Except, of course, when they don't. Plenty of young couples, like Alexis and S., say they're fine, even happy, to be in relationships that are relatively sex-free. For these couples, infrequent intercourse isn't a sign of flagging intimacy or reduced attraction. They just don't feel the need to make love very often.Perhaps the best data about how frequently couples have sex comes from the Kinsey Institute. A survey of more than 2,300 married men found that nearly 46 percent of 18- and 24-year-olds, and 37 percent of 25- to 29-year-olds, said they had sex two to three times per week, compared to just 27 percent of 30- to 39-year-olds, 20 percent of 40- to 49-year-olds and 15 percent of 50- to 59-year-olds. In a similar vein, 18- to 24-year-olds were far more likely than their older counterparts to have sex four or more times per week, while 18- to 29-year-olds were the age group least likely to have sex only monthly, or a few times per year.

"There's definitely research out there to back the idea that for the majority of people -- particularly young men -- sex drive is highest in youth and declines with age," said Laurie Mintz, a professor of counseling psychology at the University of Florida and author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex.

Yet Mintz said it's a mistake to think that every happy, healthy couple enjoys a single, normalized level of sexual activity. Because the discussion of sexual subjects has historically been taboo in so many societies, historians know very little about couples' sex lives through the ages, explained Elizabeth Reis, a professor of women's and gender studies at the University of Oregon.

"It's only been recently that people have been willing to go on, say, the 'Oprah' show and talk about their sex lives," Reis said. "For most of American history, that has not been the case."

Similarly, it's "an increasingly new phenomenon that we have expectations," said Mintz.

"It's the double-edged sword of something good. [Before sex researchers] Masters and Johnson and Kinsey, we didn't know what people were doing," Mintz told HuffPost. "Now, we have a lot more information with which to develop our 'normality' anxiety."

The Internet is saturated with lists and articles extolling the many virtues of having more sex (this site being no exception). One particularly insistent blog post on the website of the celebrity heath professional Dr. Oz, entitled "You Need To Have More Sex!," cites a statistic that suggests married couples are having less sex now than they did 20 years ago. The post's author, Dr. Corey Hebert, calls this "horrible" and a "disturbing trend."
All of which means that couples like Erin, 30, and her 33-year-old fiance T. frequently grapple with what they perceive as pressure to have sex more often than they'd like. When they first got together, the duo took their time sexually, kissing and holding hands for the first few months. Once they began having intercourse, they settled into a pattern of sleeping together between two and four times a month.

But a year into the relationship, Erin overheard T.'s friends talking about how they took girls home three or four nights a week, and she began worrying that something was wrong with her relationship. She asked her girlfriends, who assured her their sex lives were also "dying down" -- but for them, that meant sex two or three times a week.

"I was shocked," Erin wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. "Had I fallen that far from the cultural norm? ... Am I not asking for it enough? Is he seeing someone else and drawing away from me? I started thinking all these horrible thoughts."

Erin started initiating sex more often -- not because she craved it, but because she wanted the validation. But it wasn't any good.

"When you're having sex because you think you need to, it just becomes a chore," she said. "You're in a rush to get it done just to say you succeeded, and if you don't, you feel like a failure."

Then one day, after months of stressing, Erin decided to stop putting so much pressure on herself, and the couple slipped back into the schedule that felt right for them.

"I quit worrying about it. And we have a phenomenal sex life," she said. "It happens whenever we want."For other couples, however, infrequent sex is the result of an uneasy compromise.

Lindsay, 34, and her wife, 36, have been together since their late 20s. Like many couples, they went through what Lindsay called a "very hot and heavy period." But after six or seven months, Lindsay says her partner began offering more and more excuses for why they couldn't have sex that day.

"There was always something looming, or something on the back burner that made it very difficult for her," she said. "We react to stress very differently -- sex is always on the menu for me, no matter how stressed we get. But not for her."

Lindsay told HuffPost that she and her wife have had sex two and a half times in the past year, "and I don't really count that half." Her wife knows she is sexually frustrated, and knows that if she comes home from work and Lindsay is wearing short shorts and no bra it represents an overture, but it usually goes nowhere. Lindsay masturbates once a week to meet her sexual needs and has, on several occasions, tried to get her wife to participate or at least watch, but to no avail.

"A couple of months before our wedding, I started seeing a psychologist about whether I was resigning myself to a sexless life," Lindsay said. "I thought, this person is my best friend, she loves me, she is unconditionally supportive of me. Am I going to trade something that we've built for a fling with someone I don't care about?"

And that is the central paradox with sex and relationships, said Barry McCarthy, a professor of psychology at American University and a certified sex and marital therapist. When a marriage or a relationship is healthy, sex generally plays a relatively small role. But when there are sexual problems, the relationship becomes subverted and sex quickly becomes an all-consuming concern.

"For over 95 percent of couples who have no sex, that will be a big problem and is a major cause of divorce early in the marriage," said McCarthy. "However, sexually one size never fits all, so some couples can be non-sexual and successful."

The key to a healthy sexual arrangement, said McCarthy, lies not in meeting arbitrary benchmarks, but rather in creating a unique sexual lifestyle that works for both partners. McCarthy emphasized that sex and sexuality can be about so much more than intercourse. Some couples have sex infrequently, but have other ways of expressing their sensuality (think body massages and head rubs), playfulness (say, playing Twister or giggling together in bed), or giving each other pleasure without penetration.

"The couple needs to figure out who they are sexually. Do they emphasize intimacy? Eroticism?" McCarthy said. "It's not about right or wrong. It's about figuring out who you are."

For Alexis and S., that has meant making peace with rarely having sex more than once a month, and cherishing the fact that they are extremely affectionate.

"We hold hands a lot. One of us can't go to bed without the other person going to bed at the same time, because we always hold each other," Alexis said. "We play sports together and will hold hands in between innings and kiss." She guesses that anyone who knows them would be shocked to learn they don't have sex multiple times a week.ut neither she nor her boyfriend are particularly troubled by it, nor are they unfulfilled. Alexis said she cannot speak to S.'s habits, but she herself masturbates only once or twice a month. More often than not, if she feels like masturbating, she simply initiates sex -- and "when we have sex," she said, "it's great."

Marriage isn't currently on the table for Alexis and S., but the pair are now living together and Alexis thinks there's a good chance they will stay together long-term. She imagines their sex life will continue on at a similar pace, and she said the idea of that fills her with contentment.

"We could have sex more, and that would be great," she said, "but I think we could also have sex even less and that would be fine."

*For reasons of privacy, the women in this story asked that only their first names be used. Some of their partners' first initials have also been changed.

Sexy Foods to Play With in Bed

Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and ice cream toppings can be poured on and licked off, but sexy foods are not all about what's the easiest to ingest off one another's bodies.

Food can also be about setting a mood, about letting down your guard and getting silly. Because sex is more fun when you let loose and food can help us get there.

We all know that oysters and asparagus are aphrodisiacs, but just being randy isn't necessarily sexy in itself. Sexy foods are evocative and stimulate more than just the libido, they involve smell and taste and sensuality. Food can make us silly or base. For many, it's a crucial part of foreplay.

After asking around, I compiled a list of 10 foods people find sexy for various reasons. Here they are:

Ten Little Known Sexy Foods:  

1. Mangoes: Mango is a very sensual, juicy fruit. Open one up and let the juices run on your fingers. It also tastes good and makes you smell sweet. Since smell is such a major component of what turns me on, anything with garlic or onions is automatically not sexy.
2. Strawberries: This has all the sensuality of a mango without the messier qualities. It's very easy to feed to one another and to share and also smells divine.
3. Almonds: Almonds are a traditional symbol of fertility and the smell is intoxicating. They're also easy to feed to one another.
4. Sweet Tarts/Sprees/Pop Rocks: This one may seem silly, but hear me out. When I eat these candies, I'm automatically transported back in time to the age of about 12 when something as simple as candy could make me giggle and laugh. Carefree sex is hot. Also: They make kisses taste really good.
5. Chocolate pudding: Soft, sensual, delicious, and simple. Chocolate pudding evokes carefree childhood desires and can also be used on each other's bodies. I dare you to lick chocolate pudding off your man's fingers and not get a twinge of desire.
6. Avocado: The avocado is just a sexy-looking fruit (yes, it's fruit, not a vegetable). It evokes a feminine voluptuousness and is creamy and soft.
7. Basil: A very aromatic food that cleanses the palate and awakens the senses.
8. Figs: This has the same appeal as the avocado, with the added appeal of being highly shareable and delicious.
9. Brie/crackers: This is an easy finger food that can be shared and licked off each other's fingers.
10. Cherries/Olives/Watermelon: I dare you to eat a cherry, a slice of seed-filled watermelon, or a bunch of pitted olives without laughing. Spitting pits brings us down a notch and reminds us of other base activities.

The Sexual Bucket List

What sexual things should everyone experience before they die? And how does someone who married young rank against those who didn't?

I got married at 25 and started dating my husband seriously at 23.

Prior to that, I was in two very serious relationships (both of which ended in engagements) over several years and those three men sum up the grand total of my sexual experience. But what I lack in number of partners, I like to think I make up for in enthusiasm and can-do excitement.

I know I lucked out when I met Rob, so I would trade a few wild and crazy sexual experiences for the really good one of meeting my soul mate at 23 (actually, we met at 10) -- but this idea of "sexual bucket lists" does intrigue me.

Ninety percent of these can be done in the context of a loving, safe marriage (like mine). The rest, alas, I will have to leave to the single gals among us. But here is a list of 50 sexual must-dos before you die.

1. Kiss a girl
2. Have anal
3. Have a threesome
4. Engage in group sex
5. Have phone sex
6. Masturbate
7. Use a vibrator
8. Use a sex toy on someone else
9. Be tied up
10. Tie someone up
11. Have sex in a public space
12. Be a voyeur and watch others having sex (live, porn does not count)
13. Sex in a car
14. Sex at a drive-in
15. Mile-high club
16. Sex with a stranger
17. One-night stand
18. Married sex (the best kind, in my opinion)
19. Sex on a boat
20. Sex in a body of water
21. Light spanking
22. Read erotica
23. Play strip poker/Monopoly/card game
24. Sex in the shower
25. Sex standing up against a wall
26. Sex with no kissing
27. Sex in the pitch black
28. Sex in the broad daylight
29. Making out with no sex long after you're no longer a virgin
30. Sex in a tent in the wilderness
31. Watch porn together
32. Watch porn alone
33. Learn to give yourself multiple orgasms
34. Sex on the beach
35. Blindfolds
36. Using ice sexually
37. Sexual role play
38. Whipped cream
39. La Perla lingerie sex
40. Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie sex
41. Sex with someone much older
42. Sex with someone younger (legal!)
43. Sex in a foreign country, possibly with a foreigner
44. A quickie in a skirt
45. A longie in the rain
46. Sex in the ocean while people swim all around you
47. Feather ticklers
48. Sex while "altered" whether by alcohol or something else
49. Learn to orgasm in less than five minutes from intercourse alone
50. Silent sex in a full house

Ultimate Guide To Having Sex In Public

1. Timing is everything. Central Park on a Saturday at noon? Are you kidding? While you may have a couple of places to where you can creep off to be, well, creepy, just think about that holy awkward moment when little Sally chases after her ball into the bushes and she gets an eyeful of another type of balls entirely. There’s nothing wrong with maybe giving someone a quick show of something that they didn’t expect to see on a Saturday afternoon, especially if you’re into a bit of exhibitionism, but consider the children. They are our future, after all.

2. Keep your colors low key. As my husband reached under my skirt in one of those lovely little out-of-the-way caves in the Boboli Gardens, I realized that even through the fully leaved trees, his red T-shirt was practically a neon sign, all but screaming for attention. Look at me! Look at me fucking my wife over here! Hey! I said look at me! He had two options: remove it swiftly and deal with whatever might follow should we be stumbled upon or, stop wearing red in public. Since the latter was already a no go, he removed his shirt so his pasty, winter skin could blend in better with nature. Which it did, until some tourists thought the cave was a pleasant place for a picnic.

3. Lose the underwear. Once spring rolls around I ditch my undies most days. In my mind, with Swamp Ass season just weeks away, it’s time to keep things airy and dry in there. No one wants a yeast infection during their July holiday. That being said, if you’re not already going sans underwear and there’s a moment before your public sex gets going that you can slip away and remove your panties first, then do so. The unfortunate thing about women’s underwear is it seriously interferes with what you’re trying to accomplish, and fumbling to take them off is a real time suck. It’s not that you’re on a tight schedule, per se, but anything you can do to prevent wasting time on technicalities beforehand is for the best.

4. Get a leg up. If you’re the type of person who only wants to lie down while fucking, then public sex might not be for you. Sure, if you’re going off into a Tuscan field as if you’re starring in “Room with a View” and there isn’t a soul around for miles, then fine, sprawl out. But if not, you need to stand, find a great support system for your back (building, bathroom stall, doorway, car hood, etc.), so you have leverage. You want to be able to tightly pull yourself into your partner with the same vigor you can when you have the floor as part of the equation, while keeping your balance. Depending on the height difference between you and your partner, balance can be tricky, but if you both work together to push your weight against whatever is supporting you, then you can happily avoid a tumble.

5. Skip the foreplay. Foreplay is great for when you’re at home — and nothing makes sex better than prolonged third base action — but if you want to seal the deal in public, you need to go immediately to home plate. This isn’t to suggest that some fondling beneath the clothes to get you and your partner’s body raring to go is completely off-limits, it’s just that you want to keep it brief. It would be nice if at least one of you, if not both of you, climax during this little public feat.

6. Shut the fuck up. I get it! You’re a moaner! One of those loud, screaming at the top of your lungs at the very instant of ecstasy type of moaners! Awesome! I’m so happy for you! But shut the fuck up! The last thing you need is to be moaning, even softly, and have some do-gooder come to your rescue because they think you’re an injured animal who needs some TLC stat. See? That’s the problem with do-gooders: they ruin the mood with their nosiness.

7. Don’t try to recreate a movie scene. I’m sure there’s not a single person who’s seen the train scene in “Risky Business” and hasn’t thought, “Wow. I want some of that.” Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay make it look so easy, once they remove the gawking homeless man from their train car, of course, but that’s the funny thing about Hollywood: they make everything look so easy. Whether it’s some hot scene on a bar top with James Deen you’ve been fantasizing about or the pool scene in “Showgirls” you’ve been dying to recreate, hold off on such ambitions. Goals are great and everything, but you have enough on your plate with public sex alone, so don’t overload on your responsibiliti.

8. Have an excuse. So, let’s just say you do happen to get caught – there’s always a chance the worst-case scenario is possible, right? This is your moment to let your inner actor shine, or at the very least, let your natural ability to lie and get away with it kick into gear. So, what’s your excuse? You were trying to get a bug out of her pubic hair with your cock? He was helping you find that ring that you swallowed that miraculously ended up in your vagina instead of your intestines? I mean, your excuses could be endless honestly, because at that point you’ve already been found out, so the ridiculousness that you come up with for your reason WHY is just some extra fun at that point.

Traits Of Irresistible Men

It takes more than rock-solid abs to reach the top of the sexiness charts.

We're not going to lie. A man boasting abs chiseled to perfection and biceps that pop just enough when flexed (without shredding shirts He-Man style) will no-doubt turn our heads. And even if caught mid check-him-out glance, we're not about to look away. Fit, toned bodies are the result of hard work and dedication to a healthy lifestyle. We certainly pay homage to that. But for a man to achieve a skyrocketing score on the sexiness scale there's got to be more to him than physical assets. Throw in these seven traits and he's guaranteed irresistible.

 

1.He Has Mastered The Wink: We don't know how they learn the technique but some guys really have the Richard Gere wink down pat. There's an art to this wink and getting it right can be tricky. It's more suave and smoky than cheeky and laughable. He's comfortable giving this signal and has the timing to the tee. Done right, this move is pure sexy. Caveat: The wink can be tricky to pull off. Practice first.

2.He Radiates Calm: It's sending shivers up our spine just thinking about how powerful a man's calm presence can be. Neurotic or hyper or frenzied is stressful, no matter how busy the man or what his excuse. But if he's got cool written all over his face and his gaze is pure steady and peaceful his sex appeal will shoot through the roof (think old-school James Dean). We women can unwillingly fall into the trap of over-worrying about things we can't control. A man who sets us at ease by reminding us how things always manage to work out in the end is absolutely hot.

3.He Takes Care Of Himself: Look, we're not saying it's a certain height or build that matters. If he keeps his body in relatively good shape this shows us he knows how to take care of himself. It also clues us in that he sets health as a priority. What's more, if he's active, working out even a few times a week, the endorphins his body is producing during gym sessions are sure to keep him in good spirits and energized. The bottom line: If he takes good care of himself he's likely to take good care of his partner (or at least help keep her motivated to do so). That's a turn-on.

4.He's Got Style: We don't want to give the wrong idea here. This is not to say he has to be one certain type of style, and that mimicking a prescribed "it" style is a surefire path to sexy (whether that's clean-cut, tattooed-up or punked-out). Not at all. Rather, what's attractive in a guy is that he has a style at all, a way of dressing that reflects in some way who he is and what he's into. A guy who wakes up hum-drum and throws the same dingy shirt and pair of jeans on every day? Not sexy. At all. Want the inside scoop? Get the daily YourTango newsletter!

Feel Like a Sex Bomb

Many Men and Women across the world are extremely insecure and don't feel at all confident about there bodies. These insecurities can break up relationships or stop them from happening. These tips should help you feel confident and sexy no matter your body shape.

So you wake up one morning and gaze in the mirror and feel that same sinking feeling in your stomach. We all feel that way sometimes but instead of letting your reflection get you down get dressed up in your best clothes do your hair or makeup, brush your teeth, shower and then glance at yourself. If you still feel down then asked a loved one to take pictures of you posing and take a look at the pictures hopefully you will see the true you! 


If you're overweight and insecure, do the best you can to find clothes that suit your body shape. Make your face look as attractive as possible and smile! Smiles are the most attractive thing in the world and if you're out and smiling people will know you're happy and will admire you for that.


When put into a position where you will have to bare flesh, spend the night before exfoliating and moisturizing so your skin is as smooth and silky as your hair. Shave your skin so it's even and if you feel the need to wear fake tan choose a brand that suits your skin tone and try to avoid patching.


Finding the right clothes for you may be a challenge but make sure what you're wearing is your size. Twenty five percent of the British public wear clothes that aren't the right size and 15 percent wear clothes larger than required. Go out on a shopping trip with friends and try on a range of cuts and colours to discover which trend or style suits you best. DO NOT hide under baggy clothes! They are unflattering and turn off the opposite sex! Wear fitted and stylish clothes with highlight your best features! 


Finally the art of seduction is ever lost but you can revive that! Eyes and smiles are the perfect weapons for bagging a partner! So next time you go out practice your smile in the mirror and practice eye contact and alluring looks! Wear your confidence and people will notice and respect you. Stand out of the crowd and invite others into your company! Be warm and happy.
pe these tips have helped! Love Agony Aunt Dominiqua x 

Make a Woman Feel Sexy

Make her laugh. Whether it be through a funny story, a joke, or an observation on how uptight airport management can be, making her smile will give her a confidence boost.

Give her compliments. Bonus points if you do more than compliment her eyes and smile, which she's heard before, and go out of your way to notice little details or features that don't get complimented a lot.

Give her presents. Simple, small things: not expensive--expensive gifts can feel like you're being pushy--but beautiful and possibly intimate. Maybe a pendant, roses, or perfume (keep perfume fresh-smelling and light if you're not sure what she likes). Really good chocolate, even just six truffles, is nearly always a good idea.

If you're married or have been in a long relationship, tell her you love her. This will make her feel good about herself, and that's always sexy. If you've only been together for a short while, "I really like you" or "I really enjoy spending time with you" is the thing to say. "I love you" at this point can feel pressuring for the woman. 

Make her feel feminine. Chivalry isn't dead, and being polite is never going to make you look bad. A touch on the arm or gently brushing a fallen eyelash off her cheek are classic flirty actions that, unless you've already made yourself out to be a real jerk, will make her feel great--and great about you.


Don't put her down! It's the most important rule. Don't make jokes about things she's insecure about, especially weight and looks. Chipping away at a woman's self-esteem is a tactic reserved for jerkwad pickup artists, and doesn't make anyone feel sexy. 


  *Flirt! It's not as daunting as it sounds. Just talk to her, be friendly and honestly interested in her, and act like you enjoy spending time with her. Flirting is essential at any stage of your relationship if you want to make her feel sexy, and it's also how you start a relationship without being creepy.

  *  If you know her pretty well, give her a back or foot massage just to make her feel good!

   * Be confident. Women mimic the attitudes of people they like, so she'll act confident, too. This might take a while if she's naturally shy, but you'll be surprised at your effect on her over time.

   * Give her some space once in a while. You don't want to be clingy.

   * If you're admiring a lady from afar, go up and talk to her! Unless she's a jerk (in which case, don't waste your time on her), she'll at least interact with you, even if she's not romantically interested in you.
   * Write her a love letter or poem and put it in a place she'll find it: a book she's reading, her car, a place she's not expecting that surprise. Your words are your gift to her, and she'll be able to read them again and again.

   * Don't be pushy. Your motive in making her feel sexy should be to get to know her and make her feel good about herself, not to make her feel sexy for direct application as soon as possible.

Make a Man Feel Sexy

Think he is sexy:  PERIOD! Even if you have cruel plans, even if you don't really find him sexy...try to pretend to yourself you do. These things are ALWAYS mutual: you have to want him to make him want you.

Look into his eyes clearly and brightly:   This will make him feel more "wanted", more special and make him trust you more. If you avoid eye-to-eye contact, it automatically means you're not interested. Remember the lovers that can't take their eyes off each other....you wanna make him have this sensation even if it is going to be just an illusion. 

Touch him, but carefully, not too much:   Lack of physical contact will make him think you avoid touching his body, you don't really enjoy him...well, feeling that He/She is truly enjoying you is one of the most important in making you feel sexy so don't forget. But don't do it too much so he doesn't get used to it: he should remember every touch. The tip is to touch him where you really want to and when you REALLY feel like..if you like his strong arms - touch them, if his back feels really good - touch the back. But don't touch the parts of his body you're not really comfortable with yet: he will feel it.

Always tell him he is the best:   If you've chosen this man, probably you've chosen him for something...and he will be SO appreciated if you remind him of that. Would you want someone to tell you how beautiful your hair is, how melodic your voice is, how great it is just to be next to you? Here it is...he also wants it. What did you choose him for? You feel safe with him? Say it in the right moment. You find his body really masculine? When he's taking off his t-shirt, look at his body excitedly and say: "Wow.....you are just SO sexy". If he is really good at business, don't hesitate to ask his advice: he's gonna love it when you do it right: be really interested, attentive and adore his knowledge - he's gonna want to help you more if he's enjoying it. 

• If you've chosen this guy, you've chosen him for something. Focus on these things you've chosen him for. If it is not enough for you to find him sexy, maybe it's better to go for another guy you would really like. If it is more than enough, think and act positive: your man will also want to go to a place or a person where he gets positive emotions.
• You should like a guy for him to really like you back. If you don't, you have to pretend to yourself you do.

Warnings

• Don't try these things for fun: men are not toys. You better have a real reason to make him fall for you
• Don't try to pretend without feeling it. Your man will understand: subconsciously or consciously. 
• Don't over do it: men are not stupid, your prince will feel it and will go look for something more true-like.

How to Look Sexy

Decide what kind of sexy you want to be. There are two kinds of sexy: there's the traditional Jessica Rabbit/Michael Fassbender sexy and then there's the kind of sexy that's more down-to-Earth. By conforming to one vs the other, you'll be attracting people that are looking for different things. Use this to your advantage, to help you get what you're looking for.

• Traditional sexy is great when you're trying to attract more temporary partners. This is because a lot of traditional sexy is about putting on a show, which hides or downplays your natural personality and looks (sending the message that you don't really care if someone likes you for who you really are).
• The more natural sexy plays up your inherent personality and looks. This tells someone that you want to be thought of as sexy for who you really are, usually leading to someone who's looking for something more long-term. This kind of sexy tends to not get you very far when you're young, since often people aren't looking for their future spouse at 16, but it can be crucial to attracting good, stable people when you're an adult.

Act confident. Confidence is the number one most sexy quality. Even people who don't have much to offer in the looks department can still manage to come across as sexy if they balance confidence with other attractive qualities, like personality, charm, and humor.

• Act confident by working on your self esteem, standing up straight, speaking up for yourself, and starting conversations with people you don't know.

Keep it natural. While the 80s might have been all about piling on the dyes, makeup, and shoulder pads, these days sexy is about looking good in your natural state. Makeup should be subdued and look as close to your natural coloring as possible. The same tends to go for your clothes: skinny jeans or leggings, which show off the natural curve of your legs, are preferred over flare legged pants.

• Play up your best features when you can, to really show off that natural beauty. For example, if your best feature is your eyes, don't hide them behind glasses.

Take care of yourself. Practice good hygiene by bathing regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes. You should also exercise and eat a proper diet to get a stronger, healthier body. Doing things like this not only makes your body more appealing to others, but it shows that you think you're worth loving and taking care of, indicating a vital self-respect.




Smell amazing. Smell plays a big role in sex appeal, but you might not be taking as good an approach as you think you are. Contrary to what Axe would have you believe, your best bet is a natural smell, not a cloud of body spray. Bathe regularly to cut down on the BO that scares people off and use a subtle but pleasant deodorant to keep the smell from returning. Pair with a subtle cologne or perfume (citrus is the most universally liked) if you really want to, but you should be letting your natural pheromones do most of the work.

• Practice good dental hygiene as well. This includes brushing, flossing and even mouth wash. Clean your tongue with a tongue cleaner or a spoon every morning for fresh breath. Get a check up and have your teeth cleaned often.

Wear some makeup, no matter your gender. Makeup is designed to make your skin look healthier, regardless of gender. It hides cuts, scars, blemishes, acne, pores, and other factors that make us look aged or otherwise distract from our beautiful faces. Who wouldn't want that?

• Guys can pair a wrinkle filler with a little foundation to get their skin looking read for a camera close-up. These are subtle enough that the ladies won't even notice!

Get a hair cut. A haircut can make a world of difference in how everyone sees you. Generally, you want a sleeker look to appear more sexy, but "natural" waves and curls are also in right now. Experiment on your own or consult with a hair stylist to find a hairstyle that looks sexy and plays up all your best features. 

Go for a mature look. You want to project as adult look in order to come across as sexy. Cute looks or young looks will either overtly or subtly turn most people off. Update your wardrobe to look more adult (not slutty, just skip out on cartoon tees and lacy dresses). You'll also want to take a few other measures, depending on your gender.

• Women: wear clothes that show your curves. You want to look like you've got hips and at least a little breast. Get a nice push-up bra and wear things like skinny jeans to show off your legs. You'll also want to wear heels to correct your posture and lift your butt.
• Men: Trade in those ratty jeans for some slacks and that tee shirt for a button up. Your local thrift store should have plenty of cheap options if you don't have the money for new stuff. Shoes are also important. Have at least a few nice pairs.

Dress to attract the kind of person you're looking for. Different people are looking for different kinds of partners, and there are specific ways you can dress that attract those different kinds of people. People are often attracted to the qualities that they prioritize in themselves so by dressing a particular way, you'll send a clear message about what you like and what kind of person you want to date.

• For example, if you're looking for a sporty person, wear your hair in a ponytail or sport the occasional hiking outfit or football jersey.
• If you're looking for a bit of a geek, wear some Marvel merch or your favorite bow tie.
• If you're looking for someone who's very driven, tend towards nicer, dressier clothes.

Don't sweat your size. Whether you're worried about stuffing a bra or about making your crotch look a little more full: don't. Media plays up the idea that women want guys with big dicks and guys want women with big boobs, but the actual spectrum of preferences pretty equally runs the gamut. Lots of guys like small boobs and lots of women look at big dicks and just think "Ouch!".

Develop a talent. Talent is one of the easiest ways to come across as totally sexy, even when you aren't traditionally attractive. This describes most rock stars, especially from the days before auto tune. You can take a talent you already possess and make it even more impressive, or you can learn a whole new talent. You can find basic primers on many skills right here on wikiHow, or you can take classes or even just teach yourself using online materials.

• Talents you could try include playing guitar or piano, drawing, fixing cars or other mechanical devices, computer technology skills, or other talents that speak to you.

Have some ambition. There's nothing quite as sexy as a look of passionate determination on someone's face. When you really care about something and you're working hard to get it, that really impresses people. They hope to have that same quality themselves and by having you around it inspires them. We also feel comforted, know that a potential partner could carry our weight if something ever happened to us. Find a goal for yourself and work hard to achieve it, whether it's working towards a future career or working to gain an important skill. Just wanting more from life and being able to try and get it can often be enough, if you lack direction or are too young to really know what you want to do.

Be a full person. People don't fall for one-dimensional characters: they like people with quirks and interesting things about them. Think of it this way: would Joe Schmoe rather go for the cute waitress or would he rather go for the cute waitress who also dreams of being a nurse? By having qualities and dreams that are uniquely you, you show people a more interesting, more engaging person. Basically, there's just more to love. Let your interests and passions shine through and pursue new things that help you develop as a person. 

Be yourself. Stop trying to be someone else. Often we think we have to act like someone else in order to be sexy (girls emulating Kim Kardashian or guys trying to be Tom Brady). But being them isn't sexy because it shows that you're obviously trying too hard and lack your own merits. Be you, like the things that you like, and don't apologize to anyone. That shows confidence, which is one of the sexiest things out there. 

Make them laugh. If you've got a great sense of humor, you're set. Even the most unattractive funny guys get all the ladies, right? Try to develop your sense of humor by watching stand up comedy and paying more attention to what's going on around you. It's a habit that can be learned. And don't feel limited if you're a lady: a funny girl is just as sexy as a funny guy. People just like to laugh, it helps them when they're having a rough time, and so this is a quality that many people look for in a partner.

Give every sign of being a good mate. People naturally find evolutionary advantages to be sexy, even when they aren't looking for something long term. Be good with kids (even if you don't like them or don't want them yourself) and be kind and helpful to everyone around you. This will melt the heart of anyone you try to charm.

A little mystery is pretty sexy, right? But that doesn't mean you should play out your life like a bad modern fantasy novel. You don't need to act like you've got some tragic back story or keep one eye constantly covered by hair. Instead, just be a bit reserved. Don't automatically divulge every detail of your life. By creating this mystery, you throw down the challenge to someone that they should get to know you better and find what secrets lay beneath.

Use your eyes. We often communicate with people without using any words at all and the universal sexy language is really the language of the eyes. Try looking at them through your lashes with a playful smile on your face and then occasionally look away as you talk to them.

• A little little licking or biting is also a common sexy look.
• Practice in the mirror. This is very important. You need to get used to making these motions and also have a good understanding of how they work and look good.

Get comfortable in your body. This goes beyond just liking your body and having good self esteem, although you should totally do those things! Getting comfortable in your body means being good with moving your body. Work on developing your grace. Learn to dance. This will make all of your movements more natural and less awkward, adding to your sexiness factor.
Learn how to pitch your voice. Sexy voice is difficult to teach, because a lot of it will depend on what your natural voice is like. However, it's worth at least trying to work on, because used sparingly and in the right situations, you'll have an incredibly powerful tool in your hands.

• A good rule of thumb is to pitch your voice a little lower, speak slightly slow, and a bit quieter than normal.
• You can practice by recording your voice and listening to yourself. Adjust until you reach a tone that you think sounds good.

Let them see you casual. For many people, seeing someone who is usually very well dressed looking way more casual can be very sexy. This creates a feeling of intimacy, like they're the only one who gets to see you as you really are. You can try letting your boyfriend see you in your pajamas or wearing nothing but his tee shirt, or let your girlfriend see you without all that gel in your hair (girls love the bed head look). 

Stay away from the drama. The ridiculous shows to try and look sexy are a turn-off for most people. Real life doesn't work like reality shows. You also don't want to keep your life full of drama. Constant fights and negative talk or gossip is a huge turn off for most people. When you act like this, it tends to make people just wonder if you'll talk behind their back too if they dated you.

How to Be a Sweet, Sexy and Irresistible Guy

Be a gentleman and be chivalrous. In fact, nothing else in this guide will count if you're not! For a start, be nice to everyone you know and be especially kind to girls. Girls really judge guys on kindness. Say "hey" to everyone you know, and make sure to hold doors open for people, even if you don't know them. It's also a great idea to be a gentlemen to your and her family as well, as both sides can greatly impact a girl's view of yourself. Treat the girls in the families especially well- she will see this as how you will treat her if the relationship is to last. Example: if you are over for something and eat something, make sure you clean up after yourself and help a little bit around the house. It reflects really well on you.

Have a great personality by showing interest in being friendly and up to the challenge. Have a good sense of humor, or if that's not your strong point, just be kind and smile. Respect ALL girls, ugly or not, so you can treat any girl right- if you fall in love with her, you're a good catch. Be as fun as you possibly can at parties and dances; have good fun with your (and maybe even the girl your interested in's) friends. You can maybe be a bit sarcastic, but be smart--not mean. No one likes a mean guy. Be brave and always offer a shoulder to cry on. Be sensitive and understanding. This is what most girls see once they begin to spend more than five minutes with you, and it's more important than looks any day. You get the point. 

Be dignified and confident and show flaming anger at her enemies and get revenge on them in a fair way, or at least offer comfort when they hurt her. Know how and when to fight, but never hit, kick or slap a girl. EVER. Well, that will just show the girl you can be out of control.

Practice good hygiene, of course. No girl wants to kiss a gross guy. Take a shower daily, if possible. It helps. Shave any facial hair, or if that's the look you're going for, KEEP IT NEAT. That means combing and washing! Clean your face with a skin cleanser for a clearer complexion. 

Do not go for the "slob" look! It has never worked for a girl, no matter what your buddies say! This isn't saying you have to be a total, perfectly dressed prepster- sometimes a turn-off in its own right- but most girls are REALLY turned off by seeing boxers, greasy hair, etc. Look good. Decent skin, nice hair-- length doesn't matter much as long as you keep it clean and decently cared for. Wear some kind of deodorant, maybe a little cologne sometimes. Be sparing- subtlety is good!

Be nice to your potential crushes, always treat her right and talk to her! Be yourself, and don't try too hard. Look her in the eyes (not staring, but don't act embarrassed!) and talk in a casual way, then say a simple compliment, like "Hey, I like your hair..." Anything that the "usual" guy wouldn't even notice. Don't act shy about talking, and just carry on with small talk, not just boy stuff; see what she is interested in. Maybe you'll share some interests! Ask questions, and listen to the answers. Never insult her about her look or her interests. 

Look out for her, Don't be overprotective, but defend her no matter who says things about her and where. Comfort her or give her space when she's sad- but try to figure out which she'll want when this happens. She'll appreciate how in tune you are with her needs. Try to pretend you don't notice when she does something wrong- she's probably beating herself up enough because she did something stupid in front of such a sweet guy. Pamper her in small ways when possible. Girls notice that. Soon enough, ask her out. If she says no, (she probably won't) just say politely, "Okay, can we be friends?" She'll probably say, "Yeah", and possibly come around to see how amazing you are. If not, just get over that one, there are tons of girls that should like you by now. Girls love caring (but not so caring that you freak out over a dead fly). Be caring, as in: walk a girl home, or bring her books when she's sick. It will pay off.

Warning

Don't show it if all you want is a sex object. If you do, be prepared to be slapped, stuffed in a locker with girl stuff, pepper-sprayed, attacked by an angry mob with text books and makeup, or in a bad case, have the stuff slapped out of you by the girl, her friends and their friends, etc. after class.

Be a Sexy Man

Is there a beautiful girl in your class who you would like to go out with? Is there somebody at work who has caught your eye? If so, here's a few steps to help you get sexy.

Have confidence in yourself:  It's no secret that people love guys who are confident. It lets you be that cocky, grinning and attractive man that you know you can be. Consider these ideas for growing your confidence:

    Accept yourself. Remember, if you're going to try to convince other people that you're amazing, you have to be the first person to buy into it. Stop obsessing over your flaws, and focus on your best traits. Even if there are things you'd like to change about yourself, acknowledge that you're a work-in-progress and
    There is a big difference between being confident and being arrogant. Arrogance can be interpreted as being confident in a way that's negative toward others. Confidence is almost always positive.

Be the sexiest version of yourself:   Move powerfully by taking slightly longer steps, and work on not fidgeting. Keep your head movements and hand movements a little slower in social situations and you'll look more confident in general. Don't stress too much about posture, the guy with his back completely straight in his chair just looks strange.
.

Make sure you have good hygiene:  
* Taking a shower every day to every three days is mandatory. If you aren't sweating a whole lot, two days is pushing it, and even if you aren't sweating a lot at the three day mark you should take care of it regardless.
   * Brush twice a day, and floss once a day. People don't take this seriously enough and soon come to regret it. If your teeth are more than a tiny bit crooked, you should consider orthodontics. A straight smile makes a big difference.

   * Wear deodorant every day. Body odor is not an attractive smell, and nobody around you enjoys it. It's a simple routine that can reap large benefits in your friendships and relationships. Most deodorant doesn't smell enough to ever be "Too much". Apply liberally and make sure you get antiperspirant deodorant every time, it'll save you shirts in the long run.

   * Cultivating a scruffy look, especially at an early age til the time you are hitting middle age can be very successful. This does not count those dirty looking mustaches you see from time to time, shave that if you have it.

   * Pluck your unibrow or shave it, either way keep it off your face if you have one. No exceptions.

   * Wash your face every day. This helps to clear up both red acne and blackheads. However, if you are a teenager a little acne is totally normal. If you're having trouble with blackheads, get anything with "Salacylic Acid" in it in a 1%-3% concentration and follow the directions on the bottle. If you're having trouble with mostly red acne, grab a tube of Benzoyle Peroxide 8-10%. Both of these are very cheap (Ten bucks and under) and last weeks. They are the same ingredients as "Proactive" which runs for prices much, much higher.

    *Using cologne to your advantage is a smart move, but don't do it like one of those "BROS" with an axe bottle. Get yourself a container of a decent cologne that you enjoy at a department store. Spray it once on your hand and rub your neck with it, wipe the excess on your wrist. That's it, you're good. Much more than that and people will find you annoying rather than good-smelling.


Wear nice clothes. The style of clothes that you wear doesn't matter, because you're expressing your personality. Whatever you choose to wear, though, should be clean and ironed (if appropriate). Also, do not wear pants in such a manner that reveal your underwear. This is not sexy to people who possess a mature and respectable sense of fashion. If you are going to wear jeans, make sure they are not too baggy. This, too, does not look good.

Conversation is a cruel mistress who will never fail to frustrate and surprise you:   She also holds the keys to all the beautiful women beyond her doors. The most important things to do are to open fearlessly, watch her body language and realize that it takes lots of practice. Guides exist to help with the amount of practice it takes, but there is no substitute for going to the mall and anywhere else women gather to talk to them. Over, and over, and over, and... On to the next bit. 


Don't swear a ton, but don't cringe either. Everyone does it, most people do it frequently including the girls you think are completely crazy attractive. Just keep it somewhere between classy and normal and you'll look good. Don't do it at all if you feel the need.

what Makes a Great Lover

First, I’ll tell you what you don’t need: 

Lots of partners. Just having had many people in bed with you doesn’t mean you learned much. The sexual relationships in which I learned the most were with people who were committed to growing with me. There was trust and emotional openness involved. That’s where we learn. That’s where we are healed.

Knowing a ton of tricks. Mechanical technique is but a fraction of what it takes to be a great lover. I’d say it’s as little as 10%. There are certain sex acts where it can be helpful to have some direction (like deep throating, anal sex), but you can also just feel your way through these.

What is the other 90% then?

Being in tune with yourself. You need to be able to identify what you want and need. Are your actions coming from within? The very best sex is borne out of a deep expression of your truth, which meets a deep expression of your partner’s truth. If you are both shrouded in “untruth” and a desire to look a certain way, the experience will feel hollow.

Reading someone else/reading the energy flow. I’ve never had an urge to see uber-choreographed music performances. People who have super elaborate, precisely executed shows bore me.

Years ago I went to hear Cat Power, aka Chan Marshall, in concert. I’d heard that she regularly had breakdowns on stage, so I was intrigued.

She was magnificent. It was the rawest of the raw, one of the most truthful performances I’d ever seen.

In the middle of a song, she stopped and began singing another one, because she just wasn’t feeling it. She went wherever the energy went. It was “live” in the truest sense of the word.

Performing the exact same sequence of moves every night, with little to no variation is a canned show.

It also makes for canned lovemaking.

Self-confidence. Own what you got. If any part of you is hiding or deflecting, you’ll dampen the experience. Any part of you that you have disowned—be it a body part, or feeling like a failure in some area of your life—will show up in bed and create an energy leak. Self-confidence is simply claiming what you have and DECIDING to love it.

Surrender. Over and over again, I talk about how the key ingredient for gourmet sex is surrender. The ability to let go. This is what takes lovemaking from good or even great, to life-changing. And yes, your orgasms ought to be changing your life.

There is emotional surrender and physical surrender. You need them both.

The qualities that make you an amazing lover are those that make you a self-actualized person: you know who you are, you love who you are and you express who you are.

The bulk of those things are done in the realm of personal development.

Because when you get naked in bed, if there are many areas in yourself that you don’t wish to go, that you haven’t confronted, your sexual repertoire will be extremely limited.

You’ll be wearing clothes and wanting to have sex with the lights off.

So to speak.

Contrary to attention-getting supermarket checkout headlines, being an amazing lover is not about having an arsenal of hand moves.

Do the inner work. Illuminate.

It’s the only game in town.

Makes a Woman Good in Bed

*Too much of a good thing is wonderful" - Mae West

Recently I was asked what makes a woman good in bed.
Like most things in the area of attraction and pleasure the answer will vary from man to man.
Whenever I've read articles dealing with (what makes a man) good in bed they normally start off with how he touches the woman, being gentle, kissing, foreplay, and his ability to hold back until she is ready to climax.
Certainly all of the above are important however I believe it's possible for two men to touch a woman, kiss, and fondle her in the exact same ways and yet she will have a different reaction to each.
The reason for the difference is sex is said to be 75-80% mental.

How a person feels about someone, the chemistry they have with them, and the physical attraction all come into play. This is especially true for couples in serious relationships.
None the less there are instances where one can have mind blowing sex with someone they just met.
Sometimes it can be attributed to pure animal magnetism and other times it simply comes down to the mood the woman is in or possibly it's been so long since she had sex that the slightest touch would lead her to explode.

When it comes to men however there are slightly different things that place one woman above another woman. Please keep in mind there is no one answer and men vary just as much as women. Therefore the following will be in "generally speaking" terms and mixed with my opinion. I don't profess to speak for all men!

*She Loves Sex….

Anyone who loves what they are doing is usually good at it!
They are always keeping an eye out for new and different ways to rock their mate's world as well as enhance their own experience. This may entail reading books such as "Tickle His Pickle", watching adult films to steal techniques, or simply having discussions with close girlfriends to get tips.
Simply put, they want to be the best and take pride in being skillful.

*She Is Proactive With Regard To Reaching Her Own Orgasm….

The number one thing that makes a woman memorable to a man is his knowing he blew her mind in bed.
I'm not talking about embracing the art of faking orgasms.
Essentially this goes back to her loving sex.
It's difficult to love something without getting enjoyment out of it.
A woman who has explored her own body and knows how to bring herself to climax can pretty much guide any man that is not "naturally instinctive" in the ways of pleasing her.
"You can't teach what you don't know!"

A sexually proactive woman doesn't simply lay back and leave things up to chance.
She will shift her body, get on top, and even manually stimulate herself during intercourse if the position they are in allows for it. This woman knows her man is going to keep thrusting until he climaxes and she is willing to do her part to make sure that she climaxes as well.
His body is her tool and she knows just how to use it to get the results she wants.

Men are turned off by overly passive women who lay on their backs and expect them to "make magic happen". Great sex is not for the timid.
There are many women who mistakenly believe that the reason a man stopped calling is because "he got what he wanted". However in many instances it's just the opposite.
The sex was boring! Nobody wants boring or "vanilla sex"!

A proactive woman takes matters in her own hands or mouth to get the ball rolling if necessary.
The number one complaint most men have regarding bad sex with women is they didn't move coupled with an overall lack of passion and silence. (Queue the cricket soundtrack).


*She Is Vocal…..

Sex in silence is a real buzz kill!
The only exception is if you're being quiet to keep from being discovered.
In this case it can be intensifying as you force yourselves to hold back your noises.
However for the most part sex without any moans, rapid breathing, screams of passion, body clutching tension, or naughty/four letter words of expression can seem like taking a walk around the block. Even if you're not a moaner or screamer words of encouragement can enhance a session.
"That's it!", "Keep it right there", "Don't Stop!" "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Hell, most guys would settle for having a woman pound the mattress, squeeze a pillow, or mumble inaudible sounds while turning her head from side to side.
Once again I caution you, this is not about acting or faking orgasms.
It's about being vocally expressive when things do feel good.


*She Flirts and Uses Sexual Innuendo……

Men love to feel desired too!
A woman who expresses she has sex on her mind during the course of the day is a real turn on.
This can be done with a naughty voicemail or email indicating what she wants to do with him or reflecting back on something they have done the night before or at a prior time.

Some women give their partner's penis a pet name which can be used in code during a conversation along with a pet name for her vagina. It can be as spicy as you want it to be or as tame as "Tell Johnny Tammy says hello"….or whatever.
The point is she lets her man know she is thinking of him in sexual terms and he is desired.
A man in love will work hard to continue getting that type of response from his woman.

*She Surprises Him……

A woman who has a knack for doing the unexpected from time to time will easily separate herself from other women in most men's lives.
Naturally it helps to know how open minded her man is.
This could range from wearing something sexy or nothing at all when he gets home to bringing toys, chocolate syrup, crushed ice, heat sensation lotions/jells, and adult board games to bed. Jumping in the shower to play in the suds or giving him unexpected oral pleasure while he's watching television or doing some mundane task.

*Practice Makes Perfect…..

Whether you are a woman or man the only way to become good or great at anything is to have the intention of being so. In the long term no one is great at anything by accident.
It all starts with having the desire and the willingness to put in the effort.
Naturally with each new relationship one becomes involved in the first few sessions will entail going through your standard "go to moves" based upon your past experiences.
No two people are the same.

However in a long term relationship or marriage one is presented with an opportunity to refine their skills to their specific mate. Given time you can learn what every sigh or body movement means guiding you towards your next move of deciding whether to tease or to please.
Communicating desires and fantasies outside of the bedroom is just as important as giving queues inside the bedroom.

"Monogamy becomes boring when couples become lazy".


*Law of Reciprocity…..

You will know you have found your sexual soul-mate when they demonstrate the need to please you as much as you make the effort to please them.


*The Way We Were…

It's extremely difficult to let go of a "great sex partner" even if you know they are not right for you in many other ways.
Most of us have experienced at one time or another being involved with someone who was absolutely incredible in bed but we had sense enough to move on for various other reasons.

Unfortunately the memories of being with them linger in our minds and haunt us from time to time. For whatever reason you may not end up in a "happily ever after fairytale" with the person you are presently seeing but you can live on forever in their minds.