Beauty After Baby: The Honest Truth

Two months ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. I’m madly in love with my son and feel blessed that I was able to have a child and that he is healthy. I know how lucky I am, but I have to admit that I resent what pregnancy has done to my body. I understand that the stretch marks, scars and baby weight are badges of honor, but it doesn’t really change how I feel. Personally, I no longer feel pretty. In fact, I’ve never felt less pretty than I do right now. I’m not happy with how my body looks. I’m embarrassed to be naked in front of my husband. I’m afraid I won’t lose the baby weight and that the scars and stretch marks will never fade. I’ve lost my sexy and I’m scared I won’t get it back.

I share these thoughts at the risk of coming off as superficial, because I know that I’m not alone. In speaking with other new moms, I’ve learned that so many of them share the same feelings and concerns, but don’t want to admit them out loud for fear of being judged, or simply because it’s embarrassing or depressing to talk about.

Therein lies the problem. Why should a woman be made to feel bad about wanting to feel good about herself? I’m not upset about how I look more than I’m upset about how I feel I look. The truth is, in gaining a beautiful baby boy, I simultaneously lost a bit of confidence when I saw what the aftermath of pregnancy did to my body. Friends warned me that my body would change, but nobody told me just how much, or that most of those changes would be for the worse. I thought I’d get to keep the glowing skin, thick hair, and sexy cleavage, I had during pregnancy. I was confident that the baby weight would melt off with breastfeeding. Instead, I couldn’t breastfeed, so I’m holding on to those extra pounds. I can’t exercise them away because I’m not cleared to work out just yet. I have a neck covered in skin tags. I have stretch marks the width of my stomach that my derm said will never completely disappear. My feet are a full size bigger. I need to resize my wedding band because my fingers got fatter, too. Part of my summer wardrobe is a splint (aka girdle) that I have to wear 24/7. It helps correct a condition called Diastasis Recti, also known as “Mummy Tummy,” as my abdominal walls separated during pregnancy after carrying a very large baby. To maintain a shred of dignity, I won’t even go into the countless gross and uncomfortable things that we new moms have to deal with in places we never thought we’d ever focus so much attention. Just know that the list goes on.

I know it could all be worse and that I am blessed to have this wonderful baby boy. But on top of the other challenges that come with being a new mom, I never expected beauty, or lack thereof, to take such a toll on me. Having been a beauty publicist for more than 14 years, I’ve seen firsthand on several occasions how beauty is so greatly linked to confidence. I’ve also witnessed beauty’s power to transform and heal others. The little things I can do for myself now, like get my hair colored or treat myself to a manicure, are an instant boost to my self-esteem. A little bit of concealer, mascara and lip gloss goes a long way to make me feel pulled together after countless sleepless nights. Beauty is powerful.

I work for a brand that celebrates a woman’s natural beauty, and I, too, truly believe that women should be empowered beyond superficial beauty. But dealing with unfamiliarity when I look in the mirror took me by surprise, leaving me uncomfortable—for the moment—in my own skin. I’m sure that, in time, I will slowly start to feel like a semblance of myself. I know that it hasn’t been that long since I gave birth and that you can’t completely reverse 9 months of pregnancy and traces of childbirth in only 8 weeks. I know some things will go back to the way they were, and some things just won’t. So, for now, I’ll let my makeup work its magic until I get my sexy back and focus, instead, on the true beauty in my life…my son.

kids and foods:10 tips for parents

It's no surprise that parents might need some help understanding what it means to eat healthy. From the MyPlate food guide to the latest food fad, it can be awfully confusing.
The good news is that you don't need a degree in nutrition to raise healthy kids. Following some basic guidelines can help you encourage your kids to eat right and maintain a healthy weight.
Here are 10 key rules to live by:

1. Parents control the supply lines. You decide which foods to buy and when to serve them. Though kids will pester their parents for less nutritious foods, adults should be in charge when deciding which foods are regularly stocked in the house. Kids won't go hungry. They'll eat what's available in the cupboard and fridge at home. If their favorite snack isn't all that nutritious, you can still buy it once in a while so they don't feel deprived.
2. From the foods you offer, kids get to choose what they will eat or whether to eat at all. Kids need to have some say in the matter. Schedule regular meal and snack times. From the selections you offer, let them choose what to eat and how much of it they want. This may seem like a little too much freedom. But if you follow step 1, your kids will be choosing only from the foods you buy and serve.
3. Quit the "clean-plate club." Let kids stop eating when they feel they've had enough. Lots of parents grew up under the clean-plate rule, but that approach doesn't help kids listen to their own bodies when they feel full. When kids notice and respond to feelings of fullness, they're less likely to overeat.
4. Start them young. Food preferences are developed early in life, so offer variety. Likes and dislikes begin forming even when kids are babies. You may need to serve a new food on several different occasions for a child to accept it. Don't force a child to eat, but offer a few bites. With older kids, ask them to try one bite.
5. Rewrite the kids' menu. Who says kids only want to eat hot dogs, pizza, burgers, and macaroni and cheese? When eating out, let your kids try new foods and they might surprise you with their willingness to experiment. You can start by letting them try a little of whatever you ordered or ordering an appetizer for them to try.
6. Drink calories count. Soda and other sweetened drinks add extra calories and get in the way of good nutrition. Water and milk are the best drinks for kids. Juice is fine when it's 100%, but kids don't need much of it — 4 to 6 ounces a day is enough for preschoolers.
7. Put sweets in their place. Occasional sweets are fine, but don't turn dessert into the main reason for eating dinner. When dessert is the prize for eating dinner, kids naturally place more value on the cupcake than the broccoli. Try to stay neutral about foods.
8. Food is not love. Find better ways to say "I love you." When foods are used to reward kids and show affection, they may start using food to cope with stress or other emotions. Offer hugs, praise, and attention instead of food treats.
9. Kids do as you do. Be a role model and eat healthy yourself. When trying to teach good eating habits, try to set the best example possible. Choose nutritious snacks, eat at the table, and don't skip meals.
10. Limit TV and computer time. When you do, you'll avoid mindless snacking and encourage activity. Research has shown that kids who cut down on TV-watching also reduced their percentage of body fat. When TV and computer time are limited, they'll find more active things to do. And limiting "screen time" means you'll have more time to be active together.

Healthy kids: 5 Ways to a Healthy Lifestyle

With good food habits and daily physical activity you will be well on your way to a healthy life.  Easy to say, but sometimes not so easy to do!

Our busy lifestyles can be hard on our family’s health. Rushing to and from school and work can make it hard to find time to be physically active. We can also slip into the habit of choosing unhealthy snacks and take-away foods or spending our free time watching TV or in front of the computer.

However, these choices can be dangerous for our health and our children’s health – both now and in the long-term. That’s why it’s so important to stop, take stock and make a conscious decision to follow a healthy lifestyle.

How to lead a healthy lifestyle

There are five simple ways for your family to lead a healthy lifestyle and get back on track:

1. Get active each day

• Regular physical activity is important for the healthy growth, development and well-being of children and young people.
• They should get at least 60 minutes of physical activity every day, including vigorous activities that make them ‘huff and puff’.
• Parents should be good role models and have a positive attitude to being active.

2. Choose water as a drink

• Water is the best way to quench your thirst – and it doesn’t come with the added sugar found in fruit juices, soft drinks and other sweetened drinks.
• Reduced fat milk for children over two is a nutritious drink and a great source of calcium.
• Give kids whole fruit to eat, rather than offering fruit juices that have a lot of sugar.

3. Eat more fruit and vegetables

• Eating fruit and vegetables every day helps children grow and develop, boosts their vitality and can reduce the risk of many chronic diseases.
• Aim to eat two serves of fruit and five serves of vegetables every day.
• Have fresh fruit available as a convenient snack and try to include fruit and vegies in every meal.

4. Switch off the screen and get active

• Sedentary or ‘still’ time spent watching TV, surfing online or playing computer games is linked to kids becoming overweight or obese.
• Children and young people should spend no more than two hours a day on ‘small screen’ entertainment.
• Plan a range of active indoor and outdoor games or activities for your children, as alternatives to watching TV or playing on the computer.

5. Eat fewer snacks and select healthier alternatives

• Healthy snacks help children and young people meet their daily nutritional needs.
• Snacks based on fruit and vegetables, reduced fat dairy products and whole grains are the healthiest choices.
• Avoid snacks that are high in sugar or saturated fats – such as chips, cakes and chocolate – which can cause children to put on excess weight.

Changes in your body during third trimester

In every stage of

pregnancy, you will probably face the changes. Since, you are going to get world’s most beautiful title, “mother”, you need to make yourself prepared for welcoming the new guest. Third trimester is the stage when you are approaching the delivery of your child. After getting up from bed every morning you need to give extra effort. You must have felt the tiredness in the first trimester which will once again come back in the third trimester. The change in the third trimester will include the enjoyment of feeling the baby movement. The baby kick will be really wonderful to feel and realize with zeal.

Difficulty in sleeping
Since your baby grows in the third trimester, your belly becomes big and you face difficulty in sleeping. Since the person will not be in a state to get a comfortable sleeping position as soon as the baby grow up, this would also be a change for her in the third trimester. There will be good pressure on the nerve and vein of the individual pregnant lady once the baby grow large in the third trimester. It will be really difficult for individual who tries sleeping in stomach. You will feel comfortable if a pillow can be kept between your knees. While sitting also, if you can keep pillow right at your back, it will be really wonderful.

Some painful changes
You may develop leg cramp due to the pressure on your uterus in the third trimester of the pregnancy period. You may also have an unpleasant feeling due to which you will consistently move your legs. Another effect of the trimester pregnancy is burning feeling in the lower chest. You may also feel acidity due to this. Taking a normal gastro medicine will not be advisable during the pregnancy. Rather, it will be really important to consult your doctor and know whether a chewable antacid can be taken.

Baby position and urination
The movement of the baby inside your womb is also directly proportional to your time of urination. As soon as baby grows, frequency for urination will also increase. You have to stay in a room which is very close to the bathroom as the pregnant lady will really feel difficulty to walk far and urinate. Some women also have habit of controlling urination as it is irritating to get the feeling all the time. But, this would not be a very good sign. You may also have kidney problem s if you control your urine.

Nightmare and dreams
Since you are very concerned about your baby, you may think about the safety of your child throughout the day. Even there will be fear of accident during the delivery time. These facts are already present in your subconscious mind which will in turn present the picture of nightmare during the night time. This situation is not faced by ladies before their pregnancy period. Even during the first and second trimester, these thoughts are not gathered. But, as soon as the lady steps in the third trimester, the dates of delivery come forward. The pregnant lady will start panicking and think about all types of mishaps. Another reasons behind the nightmare during the pregnancy period is hearing horror stories of child delivery of another lady who herself has experienced it before.

Change in sex life
Every married couple needs to have sex regularly throughout their life in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Just as we eat and sleep everyday sex is also a major part of the life. But, after being pregnant, is it possible to have sex on a regular basis? You may also have changes in your sex life. Losing desire to sex will be one of the important factors for every pregnant lady when she is in the third trimester. The lady lose interest in having sex as she is facing difficulty in carrying a baby and preparing for him or her to welcome in this world. But, till certain phase of pregnancy, sex can be carried on. You must ask your doctor about whether you can have sex during the pregnancy period that too in the third trimester. The answer will be absolutely no

When your baby is in jail

Before I got pregnant the most time I had ever spent in a hospital was in the late nineties when I worked across the road from a teaching hospital. Teaching hospitals have student doctors and student doctors have parties... inside hospital buildings.  You haven't lived until you've drunk something called a "Green death"* and then stumbled out into the night via A&E having made sure to turn left and not right at the hospital chapel.  Where was I? Oh yes, hospitals. I've never spent very much time in one as a patient but when my son was born, suddenly I was recovering from surgery and he was a little undersized tiddler strung with tubes and wires. We got to spend a LOT of time in hospital after that.

Having your kid in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (or NICU) is a very strange experience. You have a newborn baby but you also get to actually sleep because they're in the hospital and you're at home. So you can do things like go to a party or whatever.
Which sounds great, I'm sure. But it's not. When your baby is in NICU it's kind of like they're in jail except you have no idea when they'll be eligible for parole.
The social worker I spoke to said that no one understands about NICU unless they've been through it. It can be a highly stressful environment for new parents...which is why they have social workers. Most mums in the unit end up needing to talk things through with a social worker at least once. There's a higher incidence of PND (Post Natal Depression) amongst mums with babies in NICU and sometimes, if the labour was especially difficult, PTSD.
It's a difficult place to be in. I hated it with my entire being.
For one, it's very, very warm. This is for the babies and their very weak immune systems so it's with good reason, but it can kind of suck the energy out of you being in a overly warm room for hours at a time.
And as nice as it is to be able to sleep at night without being woken by a mewling infant you still have to get up in the middle of the night to express milk, so you end up very tired anyway. And rather than hanging out at home in your pyjamas all day where you can take naps when the baby sleeps you have to get up and dressed and make your way into the hospital so you can do at least 3 daytime feedings and there's nowhere really to have a kip while you're there. They are long days in an environment that's not cosy or familiar.
Also, whereas most new mums get to know their babies in the privacy of home, you have to do it in front of nurses whose job it is to care for babies, and other mothers. Your baby won't feed well? You're doing that in front of a room of people. Your baby screams his head off and won't go to sleep? You're doing that in front of a room of people. You lose your sh*t and cry because it's all too hard? You're doing that in front of a room of people.
And they're nice people (mostly), and helpful people but I found it very dispiriting indeed. I mean, the nurses keep a file and actually mark you. This is so they can chart how well the baby is taking to breastfeeding. They use numbers to indicate whether the baby has a successful latch and feeds well. Babies can't go home until they're able to feed, either from the breast or a bottle so this is all charted. They also note how often you come in to see the baby. And it's the nurses who eventually decide when you can take your baby home. The doctors make the call on whether the baby is well enough to go home but it's the nurses who decide whether you can cope.
We spent nearly a month in NICU. This was largely because my son just couldn't get the hang of feeding. We tried everything. I had 2 different lactation consultants speak to me, every nurse in the place offered advice, and as an aside I had my boobs handled by more middle aged ladies than I would have imagined possible. After a while you stop caring. I wonder if that is how waitresses at Hooters feel?
And then there was my not coping very well. I cried every day my son was in hospital. In the end the social worker gave me a test to check if I was depressed. My score suggested I was borderline. There might have been a day or two where I crossed over that border.
However, when your baby has grown enough and is feeding okay you then get to do something they call "rooming in". For a 48 hour period you stay in the ward with your baby and do all the feeds and accompanying baby-wrangling singlehanded. They have a small suite of rooms for this purpose and it's a bit like staying in a 3 star hotel except generally hotels don't make you watch a DVD about Shaken Baby Syndrome and how to give an infant CPR right after you check in.
They weigh your baby before you room-in and at the end of the 2 day stint. If the baby has put on weight during that time (ie their health is fine and you have somehow avoided making a massive cock-up), you're pretty much good to go. Still, it's a very weird thing to feel like you have to earn the right to "go forth and parent". It's like a parole board hearing or something.
We started rooming-in on Boxing Day last year. One of the first things my son ever saw on television was the Doctor Who Christmas special, though I doubt he'll remember it (and it was on a 14" CRT TV so it wasn't the most awe-inspiring of televisual experiences, to be honest).
The day after Boxing Day we got to take him home. And that's when the really hard stuff started but at least it was difficult in the privacy of our own home.
Being in NICU is really tough going and in lots of ways I haven't even gone into. It's a very strange way to start out the terrifying vocation that is parenthood though I suspect there is no easy version of that.
Anybody else been in NICU? Any pointers for making it through with your sense of wellbeing intact? My tip is always have water with you.
*I would provide you with the ingredients of this highly effective concoction but I think it would be irresponsible. Soz.